Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help!Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better!Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift!Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely.It’s time you get the support that actually reflects you

On this episode, Heather welcomes the iconic CNN white house correspondent, Kaitlan Collins to the pod.  We get to hear all about flying on Air Force One, being in the press room, and of course her recent question and reaction she received from the President. They touch on the Epstein files, the presses’ relationship with Karoline Leavitt, and knowing which Truth social posts are actually coming from Trump.Episode Sponsors:Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodFind poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better

On this episode, Heather is back from a wild weekend in St. Barths. She leaned in and was ready to go, but of course got bamboozled while partying. She chats about the island experience, what you need to know before you go and how you need to always ask for an itemized receipt. She takes a voicemail about Robins’ lives and chats about her new special taping that she cannot wait for this spring!Episode Sponsors:Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/absolutely — and make sure you tell them we sent you.Go to Ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro.Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better!Car

On this episode, Heather checks in from an icy, chaotic winter weekend. She gets deep into mahjong, considers stepping away from TikTok, and reflects on the current political landscape—speaking honestly about the fear, frustration, and responsibility that come with it.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely.Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodJoin the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely.For a better buzz without the booze, check out https://www.senoritadrinks.com/discount/HEATHER20 Must be 21+. Please enjoy responsibly.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Polic

On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing cozy sweaters. She reminisces about jam band concerts, ahead of the summer concerts she is excited to go to and also the possibility of a Spice Girls reunion. She dissects voicemails about St. Barth's STD’s, age gap relationships, chronically late friends and this generation's Juicy Campus.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com

On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work out ( like everyone else at the year).  She chats about the Ole Miss loss, why she isn’t at the Golden Globes and her healing titty wound.  Voicemails from you guys get her yapping about pasta, the gym and sorority spring recruitment.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save $15 off your first month’s subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and is only available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus FREE shipping on every order.Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspodBecome a Fora Advisor today at foratravel.com/A

On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury—  her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making a national run and the lows of credit card points betraying her Japan plans. She then dives into your voicemails full of fresh starts, fiery horses, and big “new year, same bitch” energy.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com. Treat yourself, treat your friends, treat your tastebuds. Your

On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can attribute this to not finishing the Vision Board last year.  Heather is giving the best practices for you all to make your own vision board for 2026.  She also goes through what everyone chimed in with what their 2026 goals are.  Episode Sponsors:Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now.EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcastHead over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT for y

On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday prep for 2023. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was. It is too touchy of a subject and they will push onto their therapists 10 years down the road.Episode Sponsors:Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now.Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering ABSOLUTELY listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY.Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use

On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about the Bamboozled Tour.Episode Sponsors:Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you’re treating yourself for someone on your list, visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when yo

On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving.Episode Sponsors:Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.The holidays are closer than ever, so make sure you order by December 16th to get their gift (or yours) underneath the tree in time! Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time of

On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a bird in the hand or two in a bush. They also connect on their love of Lucille Ball. You can catch Atsuko on tour as well as her new Hulu special, Father.Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsuranc.com/absolutely. This is a Paid Advertisement. Insurance is under

On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive!Episode Sponsors:Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. and if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.comGo to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/absolutely with code absolutely.You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Cara

On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes.Episode Sponsors:Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers.Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Treat yourself or someone special to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth this holiday season. Save 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY.For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every bo

On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical attention.Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Go to JoinBLVD.com to learn more.Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home,

On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show.Episode Sponsors:Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely.Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbu

On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minutes to make for a ridiculous take on these two TLC legends. The chat about their favorite movie theatre snacks and how they will never be as put together as Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner. They take a voicemail about a very controversial type of baptism. Episode Sponsors:You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription. Get started free, plus get 20% off your first 6 months at Quo.com/ABSOLUTELY.Find your fa

This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic.Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com.Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutelyTo explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely.Visit join joinBLVD.com to learn more about Boulevard and book a demo to see if it’s right for your business.Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at r

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo, and then hung out with Alex Cooper and every housewife you can imagine. While God is good, someone is testing her or has put on a voodoo hex.  Rigs is back in the VET ER, Macaroni maybe has a UTI and the rest of our pets heads are falling off.  We get voicemails from someone that's newly engaged and someone that is debating about dumping their boo over their shower routine.Episode Sponsors:Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s availa

On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. She chats about her amazing show in Seattle followed by a humbling flight home. She takes voicemails from other TSwift lovers, bad ass women driving themselves to their own delivery and who pilates is really made for. Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. This World Mental Health Day, we’re celebrating the therapists who’ve helped millions of people take a step forward. If you’re ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. My listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHe