For The Hayters

70% of couples argue about money more than they argue about chores — and yet nobody teaches us how to actually talk about it. Becky gets real this week, confessing that the second she downloaded Monarch and started tracking every dollar, Leah felt like she was being audited (in her defense, the mystery $450 Amazon charge turned out to be baby formula). She's said no to dinners with friends, her social life feels strained, and now she's wondering — is getting your money together supposed to cost you your relationships? If you've ever felt the squeeze between financial goals and the people you love, this one is for you.The Solution: Alex (The Expert) walks through the three conversations every couple needs to be having — and the mindset shifts that make them work:The Vision Date: Start with dreams, not numbers. Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10 years? Shared goals are what make the spending plan actually stick.The Monthly Check-In: 15-20 minutes, consistent, awareness not judgment. No hour-long money court

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant death, and postpartum depression.After years of navigating PCOS and multiple IUI cycles, Kortney finally heard the words she’d prayed for: "You’re pregnant." But the joy of expecting twins, Kinsley and Cameron, was met with a terrifying reality at her 20-week scan. Her cervix had opened, and her pregnancy shifted into a crisis no parent is prepared for.In this episode, Kortney walks us through the delivery of her twins at 21 weeks, the "Cuddle Cot" that gave her precious time with them, and the grueling path through IVF to bring her daughter and son home years later. This is a raw look at grief, the "redemption" of a healthy birth, and learning that joy and loss can coexist.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses parental alcoholism, child neglect, suicide attempts, and graphic descriptions of traumatic death.In this episode, Starr sits down with me to pull back the curtain on a childhood where "home" was never a synonym for "safe." For Starr, life was a constant exercise in "second nature" awareness—learning to read the room before the day even unfolded to see which version of her mother she was going to get.From witnessing a traumatic police intervention before the age of three to watching her mother jump from a second-story balcony, Starr’s story is a raw look at the "Jekyll and Hyde" reality of loving an addict. We discuss the heavy burden of being an emotional caretaker for a parent, the complicated "relief" that comes with a traumatic loss, and the "gut punch" of finding her mother’s secret journals a year after her death—words that finally answered the "why" Starr had been carrying her entire life. Today, Starr is focused on breaking the cycle, prioritizing peace, and nav

Most of us treat our credit cards like a safety net, but as Alex points out, the average household is actually trapped under $17 trillion in national debt. Becky gets vulnerable this week, admitting to a peak of $30,000 in credit card debt and the "vicious cycle" of consolidating balances just to rack them up again. If you’ve ever looked at your banking app through your fingers, this one is for you.The Solution: Alex (The Expert) breaks down the "High Interest Killer"—debts at 7-8% or higher that cost you more than the stock market could ever make you. We break down the two heavy-hitters of payoff strategy:The Snowball: Paying the smallest balances first for that emotional "win".The Avalanche: Tackling high-interest rates first to save the most money mathematically.CTA: We’re challenging you to find just $5 extra this week to put toward your smallest debt—prove to the bank that you are the boss of that dollar!Connect with us:Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at&nb

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses fatal car accidents, drunk driving, and graphic descriptions of loss.In August 2023, Brooke’s life was shattered. Her husband, Shawn, was killed in a head-on collision by a drunk driver with a BAC of 0.28 while on his way to work.What followed was a harrowing journey through a legal system that Brooke feels hands victims a "life sentence" while the responsible party receives only a fraction of that time. From identifying Shawn by surgical screws in his ankle to facing the driver who was once a face on her own Facebook feed, Brooke’s story is a raw look at the cost of a "choice". Today, she is fighting to change DUI laws and keeping Shawn’s memory alive through "Shine for Shawn".Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses miscarriage and the emotional toll of pregnancy loss."I just wanna kiss a girl. I would never date one." That was the internal narrative Jean Kupers held until she met her wife, Allie. Growing up in a small town with rigid gender roles and "wacko" but liberal-leaning parents, Jean’s path to motherhood was anything but traditional. From the clinical coldness of IVF to the devastating loss of their first female embryo, this episode is a raw look at what it means to build a family with intention when biology doesn't do the heavy lifting.Jean opens up about the "non-birthing partner struggle"—the fear that the lack of a genetic or physical connection would create a barrier between her and her son, Carson. We dive deep into the controversial world of sperm donors, the "father" typo on a birth certificate that sparked an identity crisis, and why Jean is choosing a different path (IUI) for baby number two. This isn't just a story about being queer; it's a story about the unive

Is your phone giving you a "pit in your stomach" every time you check your bank balance? You aren't alone—53% of Americans couldn't cover a $1,000 emergency with savings.In this episode of Wallet Therapy, Becky admits she’s been "driving through a rainstorm without windshield wipers" , while Alex explains why a Starter Emergency Fund is actually your most important "insurance policy for your sanity". We’re breaking down the "Starter" vs. "Fully Funded" approach, why you need to move your money to a separate High-Yield Savings Account (HYSA) to stop impulse spending , and why building this fund is actually a higher priority than paying off your credit cards.In this episode, we discuss:The 3-Question Test: How to tell if a "70% off blazer" or a "Vegas birthday trip" is actually an emergency (Spoiler: They aren’t) .The "Out of Sight" Strategy: Why your savings needs to live at a completely different bank than your checking account.Financial Whack-A-Mole: Why it’s actually a win when your emergency fund hits zero

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains deep discussions of multiple family losses, terminal cancer, and the sudden death of a spouse."Wait, that’s not what was supposed to happen." Those were the words Brittany told me when reflecting on the loss of her father—the "healthy" parent who was supposed to be her rock. She didn't know then that it was only the beginning of a five-year window that would claim four of the most important people in her life, ending with the sudden loss of her husband and best friend in September 2024.Now a single mother of two, Brittany sits down with me to pull back the curtain on what it actually looks like to carry "shattered pieces" while trying to be a whole person for your children. This isn't a story about "getting over it"—it's a raw look at emotional survival when the world stops turning, but the clock keeps ticking.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses premature birth, traumatic labor, medical intervention for micro-preemies, and birth-related trauma."Your family didn't come in your sea bag." That’s what they tell you in the Navy. But what happens when your "family" is a 1-pound, 6-ounce baby fighting for her life in a plastic box while you’re expected back in uniform?This week, I sit down with a woman who lived through every parent's nightmare while serving her country. At 23 weeks and 4 days, she woke up in a pool of blood, eight hours from home, and facing a medical team that pressured her to choose "comfort care"—essentially letting her baby pass away—because of her age and status as a single mother.She chose the fight. She hit the 24-week "viability" mark by a mere two hours, delivered via emergency C-section, and was back on active duty just six weeks later. This is the raw, unfiltered reality of a 129-day NICU stay, brain bleeds, 20 blood transfusions, and the staggering resilience of a Sailor who refused to ta

Ever feel like you’re on top of the world on Friday, only to be digging through couch cushions for change by Monday? You aren’t alone—and it’s not just a "low income" problem. In this episode of Wallet Therapy, Becky (the Novice) and Alex (the Expert) dive into the "Friday High" vs. the "Monday Panic." We’re breaking down why even high-income earners find themselves trapped in a cycle of overspending and how to finally build some breathing room.Inside the episode:The "Friday High": Why your brain triggers a sense of abundance on payday (and how to survive the weekend).High Earners, Zero Balances: The shocking stats on why making $100k+ doesn't automatically fix the cycle.The Financial Firewall: Alex coaches a listener through a $20k windfall to build a safety net that actually works.The $40 Ghost: Becky shares how she found an extra $40/month just by looking (and why you should, too).Systems vs. Willpower: Why "trying harder" fails and how to automate your way to a net-zero spending plan.Weekly Homework:Find

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses teen pregnancy, adoption, and cancer diagnosis.Jamie Shoemaker’s life has never been a straight line. From navigating a high-pressure teen pregnancy in a conservative church to choosing a private open adoption at fifteen, Jamie has spent her life breaking cycles. She’s been an egg donor, a mother, and a fierce advocate for her own body—a skill that became a matter of life and death when a routine check-up turned into a cervical cancer diagnosis at age 35.In this conversation, Jamie opens up about the "mind-fuck" of having her uterus—the organ that connected her to so much community and life—suddenly become the villain. We dive into the complexities of open adoption twenty years later, the reality of "survival" income through egg donation, and why she wrote an "ode to her uterus" before a life-altering hysterectomy. Jamie is a storyteller who reminds us that healing doesn’t happen in isolation and that "rest" is not a four-letter word.Connect with Guest: @jshoe11Don’t fo

RIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses late-term stillbirth, medical trauma, and postpartum hemorrhaging."I didn't even have to hear the words. I could read it all over her face." Alyssa was 38 weeks pregnant—at the finish line—when the world stopped. In this raw conversation, Alyssa walks us through the devastating loss of her first daughter, Marianna Yvette, and the terrifying medical crisis that followed, leaving Alyssa "knocking on heaven’s door."We dive deep into the reality of pregnancy after loss—the scans every two weeks, the inability to feel excitement until the baby is crying in your arms, and the bittersweet realization that one child's life only exists because another's ended. This is a story about honoring the dead while fiercely raising the living.Connect with Guest: Instagram: @lyssa821 Facebook: Alyssa EstesDon’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 

Becky has beef with the word budget.It feels restrictive. It feels like failure waiting to happen. It feels like getting grounded.So in this episode of Wallet Therapy, Becky and Alex are flipping the script. We’re retiring the word “budget” and replacing it with something that doesn’t make your nervous system panic: a spending plan.Inside this episode, we cover:Why 84% of people “fail” at budgeting (and why that’s not a you problem)The three-bucket method: Needs, Fun Money (aka the Becky Fund), and Debt/SavingsWhy fun money actually helps you reach your savings goalsHow to stop the all-or-nothing spiral after one $20 saladThe 10-Second Reset to interrupt impulse spending in real timeWhy your spending plan should align with your values — not punish youThis isn’t about tracking your failures.It’s about planning your freedom.If you’ve ever started a budget on Monday and emotionally quit by Thursday, this one’s for you.Ready to join the inner circle? Head over to our Patreon for early access to episodes and exclu

This episode discusses severe alcoholism, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts. Please listen with care.I sat down with Nicole, a mother of five who lived a "normal" life on the outside while a dark hole was swallowing her from the inside. From her first blackout at thirteen to drinking a Costco-sized handle of vodka every 24 hours, Nicole’s story is a harrowing look at how addiction isolates us from the people we love most—including ourselves.We dive deep into the moments the world doesn't see: the manipulation, the medical emergencies, and the day Nicole decided it would be better if she simply wasn't here anymore. But the pills didn't work, and what followed was a grueling, beautiful, and 180-degree transformation. This isn't just a story about quitting a substance; it’s about a woman who spent years unable to be alone with herself finally learning to love the person she sees in the mirror.Connect with Guest: Instagram: @cargonicoleDon’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses the sudden loss of a parent and substance abuse recovery.When Kylie lost her mother unexpectedly in 2024, her life shifted in an instant. She didn't just lose her mom; she became the legal guardian of her teenage brother, Josh. But she wasn't alone. Her husband, Griff, didn't hesitate. Without a formal meeting or a long debate, he stepped into the role of a father figure, proving that family isn't just about biology—it’s about who shows up when the world falls apart.In this episode, I sit down with Griff to hear the perspective we don't often get: the partner who chooses to take on the "messy" parts of a spouse’s history. From navigating vastly different upbringings to the reality of family therapy and the friction of parenting a teenager while still being "newlyweds," this is a raw look at resilience, loyalty, and what it actually means to be a team.Connect with Guest: Follow Kylie & Griff's journey: @kyliem_98Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us c

Welcome to the very first episode of our Wallet Therapy miniseries!Ever feel like everyone else got the "how to be an adult with money" memo except for you? You’re not alone. In this kickoff episode, sisters Becky and Alex pull back the curtain on their own bank accounts. Becky gets real about her "add to cart" addiction and the overwhelm of looking at a bank statement , while Alex shares how she went from financial chaos to becoming a Finance Coach.It’s a kitchen-table conversation about our "Money Stories"—the good, the bad, and the expensive. We’re setting the stage to bridge the gap between being totally clueless and finally feeling in control. No shame, no jargon, just two sisters trying to help you (and each other) figure it out.In this episode, we cover:- The "Aha!" moments that led to this podcast.- Alex’s non-judgmental approach to behavior-based coaching.- How we’re going to survive these episodes without a sisterly blowout.Ready to join the inner circle? Head over to our Patreon for early access to

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses addiction, overdose, sudden death of a parent, and self-harm.When Kylie was 21, she got the call every child of an addict dreads: her mother had overdosed. While her mother eventually found sobriety, her sudden passing in 2024 left Kylie with a choice that wasn't really a choice at all. Within 48 hours, she had to fight the state of Massachusetts to keep her 12-year-old brother, Josh, out of the system.This isn't just a story about grief; it's about the "invisible" work of stepping up. From hunting down death certificates in different cities to explaining to a judge why a newlywed couple is the best place for a grieving teenager, Kylie’s journey is raw and unfiltered. Later in the episode, Josh joins us to share the perspective we rarely hear—the teenager’s side of loss and what it’s like when your sister becomes your "mom."Connect with Guest: kyyliee13Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

One sister is a professional Finance Coach (Alex). The other... has a shopping cart habit she’s not exactly ready to discuss (Becky).Welcome to Wallet Therapy, a new miniseries living right here in the For The Hayters feed. We’re bridging the gap between "I should probably save money" and "But look how cute this is in person."Join us every other Thursday for a real conversation about the messy, emotional, and sometimes hilarious reality of money. We’re tackling the stuff that actually keeps you up at night:Why we spend when we’re stressed.How to break the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle.Navigating money with your partner without the fight.Real stories from the trenches (mostly Becky’s).If this episode stirred something for you, you don’t have to sit with it alone. Come join the Wallet Therapy community on Patreon for direct access to Becky & Alex, monthly live sessions, and a supportive, non-judgmental space to talk about money, mindset, and real life. Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayterDon’t forg

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses medical trauma, brain tumors, miscarriage, and infant loss."I’m going to be strong for you." It’s the vow every caregiver makes, but rarely do we talk about the crushing weight of that promise. Ryan Leonard joins me to pull back the curtain on what it’s actually like to be the "well-spouse." When his wife Cheryl—who had already survived two brain tumors—experienced a sudden, sharp pain just four months after the birth of their second child, their world shifted back into a nightmare they thought they had escaped.Ryan opens up about the "beauty and the burden" of caregiving. We dive into the reality of medical gaslighting between oncologists and radiologists, the agonizing choice between life-saving treatment and the dream of having more children, and the moment Ryan had to swallow his pride to ask for help. This isn't a story of toxic positivity; it’s a raw look at marriage, resilience, and choosing love even when it feels like a heavy weight.Connect with Guest: Instagra

TRIGGER WARNING: TW: This episode discusses addiction, abandonment, child medical trauma, and miscarriage.Daniella became a mom at 20, expecting a "normal" transition into adulthood. Instead, she found herself navigating a high-risk pregnancy, a disconnect with her newborn that lasted nearly a year, and a partner lost to addiction.But the fight was just beginning. From holding her two-week-old son down for painful medical tests to battling doctors who dismissed her oldest son’s "staring spells" as daydreaming, Daniella’s story is a masterclass in maternal instinct. She opens up about the reality of "grieving the life you expected," the terror of invisible illnesses like epilepsy, and how a local barber stepped up to heal three hearts without ever breaking them.Connect with Daniella: @danielalatina_96 (Instagram)Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.