Slightly Burned Pants

Who would have thought that 84 episodes ago, we would be here today, with episode 85? Certainly not long-time listeners and friends of the podcast Lance Bass and Jay-Z. In truth, they probably came over to play some disc golf, but ended up getting thrown in the fridge. C’est la vie. However, even without them, we take a walk on the #BieberPanic wild side, complete with sticky floors and circus peanuts. It’s a celebration of everything we hold dear - like drugs, teeth, Rodeo Cheeseburgers, regret, awkward pauses and reasons you can’t put your furniture together correctly. If you aren’t already listening to the show, this is a great one to start on, if only because we introduce our good friend Jack Whorebath. So let’s you, us and G.I. Jesus have a sit down and talk out the funny, ok? Thanks for all the comments and suggestions. We could’ve done it without you, but we would’ve had to have come up with something on our own. HOVA! SBP!!

Once every four years, something stirs deep in the Elk River in West By Jesus Virginia. That’s right folks, the olympics are coming to town! And you know what that means! Kathy Bates, the owner of Titties™, invites us all to take a walk on the wild side Chad & Gunther. Don’t worry about getting vaccinated for the poison water, or for anything at all, because comedy legend Rob Schneider, along with his trusty bodyguard, Schneider from “One Day At A Time”, will give you a guided tour of all things wild and wonderful. So grab your Cheddar Bay Biscuits and your 2014 Death Pool, hitch a ride on the angry Mothman and sing the German parts of “So Long, Farewell”. There’s so much to live for! SBP!! (brought to you by Freedom Industries - all rights reserved) More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Here in Episode 73, we change the rules and the location! No longer are we restricted by the confines of the original Adventureplex! No! For the first time in our stunningly long podcast careers, we dive off into the murky night at the Adventureplex: AFTER DARK! Not only that, but we create SBP Obscure Actor Bingo and make sure that Darwin the Dolphin is on Twitter. Then, we talk, at length, about the pros and cons of what sounds like one of the greatest jobs in the world. Not enough? Want more? How about that time that Bane from Batman was in Silence of the Lambs? Yeah - it’s exactly what you think it would be - hysterical! Just like your prom date’s first pregnancy! SBP!! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Monday, Mondaaaaay, so good to me - Monday, Mondaaaaay, it was all I hoped it would be! The Mommas & The Papas ain’t got nothin’ on us, except Murdock *almost* choked to death on a sandwich once. Can you believe how early we are this week? Do you think we’ll continue putting out episodes on Mondays so that we get downloaded with every other podcast you listen to each week? Maybe. But until we know for sure, please enjoy the boys talking about mix tapes; the songs best suited to play for your enemy who is in a vegetative state and can’t move, but can still hear; something about Star Wars and something about the Justice League. Now that doesn’t sound like anything you want to miss, right? Also, t-shirts from our store have free shipping until Wednesday, so get your orders ON! WE’RE SO EARLY! CELEBRATE! SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

What happens when we skip a week and then discuss what to talk about on the next episode? Well, we start recording and throw all the plans right out the window! Obscure reference lovers rejoice! Episode 52 should fill your Slightly Burned Pants quota of forgotten actors and movies twice over. We don’t need to tell you what a great holiday gift idea a NORTH X shirt would be for all of your favorite family members, do we? Help us decide whether we are on our first assignment, back in training, citizens on patrol, hanging out in Miami or chillin’ in Moscow! Do it for Colleen Camp! EVERY DAY! SBP!! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

A new episode recorded under the gun is here for you! The boys analyze a local controversy make mediocre movies better. You’re welcome, Hollywood. More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Sullivan, Murdock, and Dwight have two special guests on this week. And then they answer some burning questions from listeners. More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://Sullivan, Murdock, and Dwight have two special guests on this week. And then they answer some burning questions from listeners. More at slightlyburnedpants.comMusic:“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm))

Sullivan, Murdock, and Dwight podcast the election results. More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

The boys survive a Halloween Party and Hurricane Sandy. Followed by a discussion of films that scared them as children. More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

It’s been so long since we had to write one of these, we aren’t terribly sure what is supposed to happen next. We decided that, while everyone is so eager for our triumphant return, it would be ill-mannered of us to hit you with SO MUCH funny all at once. So, in order to make this pleasurable to both parties, we’re going to ease you back into us - slowly - like a sexual surrogate - but with way less flexibility and way more trouble breathing. What you should all rally behind is this: We’re back! SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Finally, after all this time, it's the 46th episode you've all been waiting for! In this overly-long show, the boys follow a leprechaun down a seedy path of prostitution and destruction to the dulcet tones of Rick Dees. Murdock gets thrown under the Craig's List bus by both Sullivan & Dwight, as well as Awkward Roommate. At various points, we talk about Raul Julia & Street Fighter, Construction Tops, Joe Don Baker, Pig Bottoms, Bob Villa, All-you-can-eat sex buffets, original Nintendo JAWS and the extreme importance of coordinates. We're back and you deserve it. What happens at the Paddy Wagon STAYS at the Paddy Wagon. SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

In this, the 45th episode of our dearly beloved podcast, a priceless reaction of disbelief is the centerpiece of the first segment. The second segment gets some sexy answers plenty of unsexy listener questions, including allusions to Space Jam, as well as a lesson in Dong Dacnomania. Yeah, we said it. Dong Dacnomania. Look it up. Nothing can save you from us this week. And we certainly can’t save ourselves. Come for the crazed groundhog, stay for Demi Lovato. It’s arguably the same thing. Enjoy! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Sullivan derails a conversation with an exploration of Rule 34. Murdock introduces a lady to some hobos. Dwight touches a penis that is not his. All on this week’s SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

We're back! It's like the birthday podcast that Sullivan will absolutely never have, complete with a very special guest for the first half of the show who will help you love eggs and vermouth like any real man should. Then, after that almost certain brain damage, Murdock rejoins the group for a hilarious return to form, complete with several actual long-lost segments! Dwight checks into rehab after discovering his life achievement list and we discuss whether or not Murdock's private parts are ready for mass consumption. Just another week with SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

You know how you've all been clamoring for more Sullivan on the podcast? This is your lucky week! Real life has reared its ugly head again, preventing us from recording a proper show, but Sullivan has taken charge to give you the best awkward silences and mid-life crises that a free podcast subscription can buy! And just so you don’t go off into podcast land empty-handed, Sullivan has also included, against Murdock’s wishes, Dwight’s favorite Priapus song. Everyone goes home mad! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm) “Mother’s Day” by Priapus

It’s official - Episode 42 of the show is the answer to life, the universe and everything. Not only is it full to the brim with comedy gold, but speaking of gold, we won the gold medal in Podcasting at the Olympics - London 2012! We are the champions, just like that one really fast guy from that one place and all the rest of the Americans that helped President Obama bring the Olympic Torch back home to the good ‘ole US of A where it belongs. If that’s not how the Olympics work, keep it to yourselves. Meanwhile, Sullivan shares two spine-tingling adventures. Dwights asks if Murdock and Sullivan can gauge his anger for him. Murdock gets abandoned at a bar but Dwight shows his deepest affection. Grab your crutch and let’s start dancing! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Remember how in the early days of the podcast there was a lot of word association? Welcome back! And we’re sorry! The boys get “Olympic Fever” but don’t really talk about it. Murdock goes to see Mel Tillis with his dad. Sullivan considers every living person a hobo. Dwight and Murdock aren’t nearly as excitable as a foamer, even with all of the recent poon-swooping. HEY GLASSES! Grab your favorite chicken-eating bigot friend and let’s get low-talky! SBP!! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Spoiler Alert: If you don't want The Dark Knight Rises ruined, skip ahead to 27:22. Murdock thinks Tommy Lee Jones ruined the new Batman movie. Murdock defies an automotive death. And then Murdock shares some fan mail. A Murdock-centric episode. SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)

Finally! It seems like a whole extra day has passed since there should have been a new episode. During this extended vacation, Murdock had The Dark Knight Rises spoiled by a not-so-errant text message. Sullivan had a dramatic reading of the next best thing to 50 Shades of Grey. And Dwight loses sleep about the possibility of Dolph Lundgren being a mole. Oops. Spoiler. SBP! More at slightlyburnedpants.com Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm) “JC and the Pussyhounds” by Thee Most Complicated Wristwatches (http://www.reverbnation.com/TMCW)

Episode #39 is is delayed until Thursday but we wanted to give you something today as a thank you for sticking with us. Props to Brian Cook and Jesse Riggs, of Thee Most Complicated Wristwatches. Music: “Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm), “JC & The Pussyhounds” by Thee Most Complicated Wristwatches (http://www.reverbnation.com/TMCW)