Waifu Wars & The Five Minute Podcast

How much does your family know about your online life?    For Asterios Kokkinos, the answer is: too much.    Way, way too much.    http://www.patreon.com/asterios ----more---- * * *  Upcoming Tour Dates: Orlando 7/26 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4249475 Miami 7/27 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4229526 Houston 8/2 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/boomer-vs-zoomer-the-farewell-tour-tickets-63918312393 Austin 8/3 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4212360 Chicago 8/22 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4218821 Detroit 8/23 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4249482 Toronto 8/24 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4212356 Montreal 8/25 https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4213617 * * * Send us crazy stuff: 8801 5th Ave PO Box 90700 Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997   Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here: https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20

Sirancha goes off on "Karen." Who is NOT Nathen Mazri. (She just types, sounds, and acts like Nathen Mazri.) #LOUDEQUALSFUNNY * * *  Find us at: 8801 5th Ave PO Box 90700 Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997 Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here. http://www.patreon.com/asterios * * *   

Asterios meets an occultist.   Sirancha steals some oat milk.   And who rules...The Planet Of The Vapes?       http://www.patreon.com/asterios

  On this week's THE LOUDEST PODCAST we discuss The Battle of Sanctions. How bad did Judge Shrugsalot fuck up? Listen!   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha expresses her Pride. Asterios imagines a porno involving Sheldon's spot. And both weigh in on poor, sweet Mumkey Jones.   Get more madness at http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Welcome to Christory. A limited series, just for Patre-o's, brought to you by THE LOUDEST PODCAST. If you do not know who Christine Weston Chandler is, don't worry. Neither does Asterios. By the end of the series, you'll be a "Christorian" on par with Sirancha herself. Join us, won't you?   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Asterios channels his inner Nathen. Sirancha gets real about GarfieldEATS. You down with E.E.G.? Asterios' new therapist sure is. http://www.patreon.com/asterios

  Asterios goes to Toronto.   Sirancha avoids a 14-hour bus trip.   And while discussing a Garfield-themed pizza restaurant, Nathen mentions: Cryptocurrency Artificial Intelligence Farm-To-Plate Integrity Venture Capital The 22 Immutable Laws Of Branding Licensing And Franchisee Models QMR NOT QSR The Consumer Culture of Dubai And how GarfieldEATS is NOT a Garfield-themed pizza restaurant. We hope you will join us for the Grand Opening of GarfieldEATS in June.   (Or July.)    (Or August?) 

Sirancha Pokèmon GO-es trespassing. Asterios wants Russell Greer to STOP doing everything. And we finally review peoples dating profiles, LIVE!   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

On THIS week's episode, we will finally determine...   ...what the bases are.   Consider the debate ended.   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Once again: We get to none of the topics we had planned. #BlameSirancha http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Ladies & gentlemen...   ...we got 'em.   Enclosed: an interview with Nathen Mazri, Chief Entergagement Officer of GarfieldEATS.   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha reads a book from a promising new author. Asterios extols the virtues of The Big Bang Theory. And god help JJ if there are no porgs in Episode IX...   patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha reveals the worst thing she's ever heard. Asterios mansplains McDonalds to Sirancha, a former McDonalds employee. It's the second worst thing she's ever heard.  http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha talks about GarfieldEATS. Sirancha talks about GarfieldEATS.  And Sirancha talks about...GarfieldEATS.  #LOUDEQUALSFUNNY   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha wants better porn for women. Asterios has a few ideas. Sirancha hates them. http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Asterios reveals the terrifying secret of McDonalds All Day Breakfast. Sirancha is astounded at the longevity of Wendy. (Wendy from "Survivor," not Wendy's from Wendy's.) (Who we also love.)   patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha loves Cilantro. Asterios hates ASMR. And Tallard sees...beyond the veil.   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Sirancha is enraged at this year's Survivor twist. Asterios opens a very emotional gift. And both want you to play Tiny Bird Garden.   http://www.patreon.com/asterios

The kids want their heroin. It's our job to...help? And: Asterios plays a dangerous game of Would You Rather.   http://www.patreon.com/asterios