Nerd Poker

The murderer! We may have just cornered Gnome Jack the Ripper, AND Dan is mutating Ken again. The kind of classic Nerd Poker shenanigans you know and love. But do we keep the murder harness? Or are those too hard to sell? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Our heist crew has done it, and escaped the abandoned temple with major loot. Sure they're locked in a shack in Soggytown, which sounds like the world's creepiest country song, but they're on their way to sell their spoils to the Thieve's Guild as soon as they can get through the murder fog. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It seems like a pretty standard treasure room with a gigantic heretic god's statue staring dead-eyed at everyone. So it's time to grab the super chill astral plane skeleton and book it out of here!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Of COURSE the treasure vault has three gelatinous detritus tubes full of toothed leviathan tongues. What podcast did you think this was, anyway? We now take you to a party of scrawny detectives trying to wade through walls of plasmatic murder. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

We delve into the ancient sahuagin where things start off very Giger-y and fillopian-y. There may be undead fish people, ancient mud leviathans, and other classic things that happen with failed saving throws. Can we get some sick loot without Dan turning one of us inside out?! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

There's a bit of unpleasantness with this bounty hunter to deal with, hopefully everything is chill now that we spared his life. The whole ruining of his reputation is probably no big deal right? Then its off to investigate a way to our next vault heist, and to suffer a deeply unsettling, or depending on your feelings perhaps adorable, cascade of Kua-toa NPC voices. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Assassin our assin! The crew hunts down, corners, and puts the smack down on this drow bounty hunter, AKA Dan's bastard of a drow #632. Hopefully he'll explain himself and we can get to our next heist! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

The antics return to Brian's dining room, where the drow bounty hunter is now the hunted. Will he escape through the fog or be brought into brutal submission and be interrogated? We all know how cool drow are, so he's probably just a chill dude who will get away. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

It's time to strut out of the thieves guild and take a breather at the inn. Yeah yeah yeah we might have a target on our backs because we blew up the giant house of Dellsmouth's crankiest creep, but it's time to eat omlettes and probably maybe hopefully not get jumped! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Wooo we have a gnome mech and blew up a mansion! Time to sell some loot and celebrate. Hopefully we haven't upset the natural order of things too much and none of the other rich people in town are like, suspicious or whatever. Time to go dump that babysitting job on the Thieves Guild! They'll love it!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

We will be right back to The Fog Campaign and are recording tomorrow, but Brian unfortunately lost a dog the only day we could record, and we needed some time. Thank you everyone for supporting the show on Patreon- it keeps the show going and we really appreciate it.

Well, now that we are straight up annihilating the mansion, tactics shall change. It is time to drop the facade of robbery and pretend we are heroes! At least we probably should given that we are brawling in the exploded foyer and some people probs noticed. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that the two magic swords are secure, it's time to bust out of this old drow's mansion with the spoils. Bust out through- well let's see- the back door guarded by cursed statues, the windows protected by death wards, the basement we flooded with the entire ocean- or hey what could POSSIBLY be the downside of just marching back out the front door? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It's time to dust our hands off and go all in on looting this wine cellar! A big old treasure chest is only a door away! But uh, what's all this with the kobolds? One of them blew up trying to break in or something? Maybe we meditate on that for a moment... or maybe it would be chill to just charging ahead without worrying about it. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker

Now that we are past that pesky gargoyle it's time to loot the wine cellar! But lo, the most terrifying D&D monster of them all lurks around every corner-- DOORS. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker

An update and apology from Brian!

It's time to sneak below the city and see what it's like to join A FACTION! A thieve's guild at that. Perhaps we can get a better sense of how dangerous Fenn the thief is this way, or better yet we can break into that drow mansion TONIGHT! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker

We're casing the drow manor, but damned if it isn't actually rather difficult to break into. A rival taunts Lil' Peepers? Sounds like it's time to pick locks and break hearts! And yes, Blaine will honor his cat persona.  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker

Everyone is safe, but we are unavailable to meet up as the Los Angeles fires are creating a lot of evacuation zones. There will be no recording this week but we can't wait to be back! Sorry, everyone. 

Our festive millionaire ghost murdering adventure reaches its end, with plenty of violence and class war for all! We will return to our regularly scheduled campaign next week. Thank you for hanging out with us over the holidays! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker