Idle Thumbs

Let's cast out 2016 and make room for whatever it is that's coming next. Join us as we look deep, deep into the future and... actually never mind that, Nick's just fired up Diablo 1 and managed to connect to the late '90s version of Battle.net. See you all next year! Discussed: Diablo, Diablo 2, Diablo 3, Dark Souls, Dark Souls 3, Time Commanders, Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

As the year draws to a close, things get a little out of hand. What starts as a discussion of Super Mario Run quickly gets away from us and leads us deep into the worlds of sound editing disasters, mascot shoplifting, the history of gaming retail chains, and how to tell when a store might be laundering food stamps. Discussed: Super Mario Run, MARIO, Super Mario, Bay-Mission Market, Portal, The Mummy

Chris buys a cup that he thinks looks like a piece of human anatomy, and against all odds, it leads to an unexpected and completely impromptu look back at some of our favorite games of the year. Discussed: Hitman, Super Hypercube, Planet Coaster, Dark Souls, Dark Souls 2, Super Mario Run, Super Nintendo World, Catacombs of Solaris

This week we take your questions, line them up, and knock them down. Yes, it's mailbag week! After Nick takes a wager in Dark Souls that will change his life forever (and Chris digs a hole in the ground) we go deep into the Idle Thumbs Reader Mail inbox. Discussed: Dark Souls, Planet Coaster, The difference between game genres and genres in other mediums, The Secret of Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, The Stanley Parable, Friends you only connect with inside video games, StarCraft II, ICQ, "Low fidelity" game development, "Millionaire caves," Wizard Jam, Gomix, Many unsolicited promotional offers, The septic tank that is the underbelly of the Internet, Video Games

You are not locked in a prison of your mind, this is what you want to be doing. This is what needs to be done. Trees must be planted, more trees. The guests love trees. This boss won't beat himself. You know you can do it, but you can't talk; everyone is asleep. If you don't sleep, the world will stay just as it is.

Join us on a grand circle tour of massive-scale architecture, both real and imagined. In Planet Coaster we step through the mouth of Dot Gobbler himself, crossing the threshold into Thumbsland, the park that never closes, the park whose rides never end (because they are incomplete). Did you hear that? It's the sound of San Francisco, California, without a bus or train in sight. Sounds like someone needs to fire up Cities in Motion and get to work. The last leg of our journey will take us along the rim of the Grand Canyon, care of Google and Alphabet Incorporated. Please remain standing so we don't have to stream in the canyon floor at high detail. Also, Nick played Dark Souls. Happy Thanksgiving!

This week you are beset by waking nightmares and cannot continue. Giant insects pour from the sky and from the walls, hungry for blood, or maybe bones. A funny man screams out again and again for meat, for any meal, and you know he will not die because your voice says so; he is now in a state of infinite hunger, living on old fruit and dirty water. A popup window appears above your head, which reads "Everything is okay, none of it is real. You are part of an elaborate simulation built to entertain Steve Gaynor." You dismiss the popup and sleep soundly.

Feeling like the world's driving you up a wall? Life's out of control, galloping over a cliff? Everything you thought you could achieve is just on the other side of the glass, out of reach? Fortunately we have video games, where all your wishes are granted. Join us as we scale the walls of Titanfall 2, rein things in and take control of Battlefield 1, and discover that no matter what you try in Hitman, maybe the game IS rigged and you just can't win.

Are you guys ready to do The Fun Cast? Your employment agreement stipulates that you're are, so let's go! This week our hosts Shmirkin Burpin and Minion 600 check out Owlboy, finally released after nine years in development! Then, Nick Breckon, confused as to where he is, drives a tank up a hill and back down. Finally, an update on the new intra-organization subway service. Thanks everyone, back to work.

The fog clears, the blazing guitar solo ends and echoes off the walls. You crack your knuckles and slam Sim Ant into the SNES; your oppoent, Gilgamesh, really starts to sweat. Black ants overtake the yard, leaving a sea of red in their wake. "Please, I'll give you anything," Gilgamesh pleads. Before his colony is fully destroyed, you switch inputs, drop your GameCube onto the table (by its handle) and load up Pikmin 2. "No more, no more," he begs, his eyes watering, hands shaking. You can't stop.

The future arrived and for once, we liked it. This is very confusing, but it's definitely happening now. This is really when it's happening. Nick and Jake get their hands on PlayStation VR and play the heck out of it. Chris, who prefers a more traditional immersive themed environment, visits the immaculately produced Tokyo DisneySea and can't contain himself. Where does VR sit next to the rest of gaming? Is there space for the player in stories that aren't about them, especially in a medium fixated on literally putting players in the heroe's shoes? What does this have to do with a fictional New York in the middle of Japan, with a janitor who, when your back is turned, starts emitting cartoon sound effects and giving high fives to everyone around him? Find out moments from now. Step into this pod, press play, immerse yourself, and please tell a friend about what you experienced here.

Welcome to episode 4186-0000-028C-E9F8! We bring you word from a simpler time. A better time, before the mess we're in today. A time when you played World of WarCraft. Join us in this life until Chris Remo returns from Japan and tells us of what he saw there. Discussed: Virginia, World of WarCraft: Legion, Nidhogg 2, GameMaker, Nintendo NX

Before Chris boards a plane to Japan we take a trip to Hitman Con 2016, where there are no talks, and no one wears a badge, but the cosplay game is off the charts. Join us for a brief look at the most recent two Hitman episodes, talk of episodes yet to come and episodes that will never be (outside of our dreams).

Slap on your 3D scanned face, check your latest upgrades, don some really expensive stupid sunglasses, and hit the streets: it's time for Deus Ex: Mankind Divided. Then, slap on your 3D scanned face, check your latest upgrades, don some really expensive stupid sunglasses, and hit the streets: it's time for NBA 2K17. We do all of these things, and tell you how it went.

Hey, over here. Yeah, it's me. My friends call me Wide Boy. You can call me Wide Boy 64. So where's that other goatscaver? What? It's just you? You uncle-terder. You wod head. You goat-jashiping crassmicker. Fine. Let's get going. Take this pill, put on this nice mask. Try to blend in. Look happy. And hey, clotwizard: if you get caught, you're dead. I'm not coming back for you. You marfing barfo.

If your controller has a hamburger button, you should press it. Chris pressed the hamburger and watched as his copy of Halo traveled in time from his Xbox 1 to his Xbox One. We also pressed the hamburger button in our minds, mentally transporting ourselves to the mid '90s with Obduction, the latest from Cyan. Meanwhile, Nick, starting up his third new game studio in as many years, demanded his employees add hamburger buttons to all their latest product in Software Inc.

High up in the clouds, the best pilot you've ever flown with leads you to your next target, a target the two of you cut through like it's made of tin foil. You're the front gunner, pretty new to the job, but already you two are working like clockwork, knocking fighters out of the sky left and right. "I'm hungry," says the pilot over text chat. You see he's named Nick. You're hungry too. Maybe there's somewhere to eat, maybe the two of you will go together like the great friends you've become? You look up and Nick has left the pilot seat. You're alone. The mountain fills your viewport and you wish you'd joined Jake and Chris at PAX instead. (Despite what we say at the start this truly is Idle Thumbs 279, not 280.)

Beef Chief [3/5 stars] We visited Thumbsland this weekend, and while riding Beef Chief I had fun with my son! So many ghosts every time I go down there! (Which is certainly not a problem.) I heard that burgers are real. I heard they're from burger church. I think about Thumbsland in my head, and it hurts, so I don't think about it for many years. Anyway, enough with the pleasantries! Come to our PAX meetup! (Saturday at 7pm at The Diller Room.)

Finally, time for video games. You settle down for a long night of cyber-hacking and theme park design. This is going to be so immersive, you think. But the experiences are fleeting, fractured. Not quite what you expected, in ways you can't pin down. Your memories feel...misplaced. No wait, they're just in that drawer over there. You can't help but feel there's a more complete version of this, if you could only focus. You close your eyes, but they blink back open against your will. Now you are dunking a basketball—blink—you are sorting ever-taller stacks of hats—blink—you are button mashing for your very life. Over it all, a haunting piano repeats a single note. Coming soon.

With tens of thousands descending on Seattle's Key Arena to bathe in the spectacle and drama of The International 6, and hundreds of thousands more barreling towards the uncertain center of No Man's Sky, ears are ringing and plugged in equal measure as hype, anticipation, uncertainty, and excitement fight to drown each other out. We are joined by Sean "Famous" Vanaman to try and talk it all through, to figure out what we think.