Idle Thumbs

You can't shut your eyes. A small child spots you, waves eagerly. You try to reach him, but are stopped short as the cables restraining your fingers go taut. Struggling against wires and straps binding your shoulders and feet, you get one last glimpse of the boy before he's dragged screaming into Max Payne's departing van.

With Nick still out of town, we're passing the time with more from last week's cutting room floor. We'll be back soon with real podcasts.

Where we come from the games beat themseles. There's a shaved Muppet around every corner, and Samus Aran can't shut up. It will please you, with a depth that might surprise you. Featuring Steve Gaynor as Mr. Dream.

We're back from E3, filled with hands-on impressions, tales of awkward industry encounters, and an important question: Who needs a motion wand when you have a ten year old boy trapped in your TV?

Sometimes the past is just as good as you remember it. Sometimes it's better. Nick turns back the clock ten years to explore the less traveled branching paths of adventure gaming, Jake is revamped and thrown back by Nintendo's latest offerings, and Chris? Chris dares to dream.

After taking a week off in silent honor of the Duke, we return. Lawsuits fly and franchises fall as they try to get you to ride around on a fake skateboard. E3's coming back. I probably have Swine Flu. Don't worry, other people get it.

This week you, the readers, take control, as we spend the entire episode with our grubby mitts elbow deep in the Idle Thumbs mailbag. With special guests Steve Gaynor of 2K Marin, and each and every one of you readers listening along at home.

We return from break full of questions. Why are all the best games about America made in Europe? Does your game dialog sound more like Steven Seagal or John McClane? Is there going to be a twist? We don't know, but we really want to tell you why the Moon is awesome.

With the fight against Robo-Manus safely on hold, our co-hosts are free to discuss the love/hate battle with ruthless games, the slow decline of the mod community, and the science gone mad of achievements paired with grinding, all with a funky back beat you can dance to.

Like good games on the DS, we are back. With GDC a fond and distant memory, we tackle the surprising stack of good new titles for Nintendo's handheld, learn some new moves from a hobo, see the latest from BioWare and Double Fine, and shed a tear as Wander goes Hollywood.

The final Conf Grenade pops and fizzles its way into your ear, offering our closing thoughts on the Game Developers Conference. Join us for some last words before the GDC book slams closed for another 51 weeks.

Steve Gaynor and Duncan Fyfe join us for the penultimate Conf Grenade, blasting through GDC's midsection at a rate so fast, you might not survive the trip. Put on your game designer hat and buckle up.

Partake in a virtual luncheon with a pantheon of gaming greats. Witness the changing of Will Wright's mind. Scream as you are wholly seared into the fourth dimension of experimental gaming. We're joined by guests Alex Ashby, Lawrence Bishop, and B. M. Bronstring.

I don't even know what to say.

GDC is warming up, and so are we. Idle Thumbs alums Marek Bronstring, Duncan Fyfe, and Lawrence Bishop join in for an look at GDC's first days of Indie-focused content, our anticipated panels, fabricated sex scandals and more. We love GDC this much.

You lie on the ground, the last breaths leaving your body as you look up into the glowing, burlap sack-wrapped eyeholes of the man who ended your life. As voices recede and the world drifts away, you realize your dying thought will be "I wish I'd spent the 99 cents on that rocket launcher," and are disappointed.

Sometimes a game blows up in your face, 106 moves in. Sometimes a tutorial man tells you the controls backwards, just because. Sometimes, no matter what you try, the old man just can't kill that snake. When the world's got you feeling down, do what we do, and put on the top ghost.

Five years ago, prophecies by Steven Spielberg and EALA's Neil Young charted a course of new, untold emotional resonance, and the future of video games was irrevocably changed. As Game Developers Conference 2009 approaches, the clock ticks ever closer to the video game singularity: Prepare for the countdown to tears. Games discussed: Steven Spielberg, Neil Young, the crying game.

Virtual worlds fall around you. Objectives appear before your eyes, cluttering your vision. Everything falls silent. As tears stream down your space visor you realize, too late, that it has you. Welcome to The Hypersonic Effect.

Special Report! Awesome robot robot robot; actually, he's a cyborg, and he comes bearing contests. Saitek Cyborg, at your service.