How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Becca Slack may have shocked those in power with her sassy attitude and fondness for questioning authority, but that's just what we look for when scouting potential Rude Dudes. Today we're examining "Mr. Egghead", in which Joey's already muddled career takes a sharp turn into terrible children's programming. But that's not all, folks: Danny is using DJ in an attempt to get out of a $30 traffic ticket and Stephanie's impending Picture Day could prove her undoing. There's a lot going on, maybe too much, but whatever! Don't worry, we make time for Becca's Picture Day memories, as well as her Dad's love of outgoing answering machine messages. Do any of us care about the gender of a ghost we can't see so long as it's giving us the best oral sex of our lives? Will Jon provide us with an extended review of Beastly, now available on Amazon Prime, even if we didn't ask for it? Find out now! There's no way you'll discover the answer by reading this, you Bozo! XOXO

Cat McDonnell may have spent the majority of her childhood in the stuffy ol' land of England (where birthdays are about as celebrated as a hernia) but that didn't snuff out her joyous spirit. Said spirit is on full display for this, our 57th episode! Break out the Bobby Brown cassingle and oh so sensual bottle of catsup, because DJ is officially a teenager and everyone wants her to get laid. Everyone is dancing in this episode: Danny, Becky, Jesse, even little Michelle is getting her groove on with a particularly famous cartoon rabbit. It's fucking surreal! We're gonna learn all about Cat's first kiss and her recent encounter with a grown-up game of Spin the Bottle, so join us for the fun or see you next Tuesday. Ha-ha, just kidding, WE LOVE YOU ALL. XOXO

Eddie Klinker is no stinker. He's one of the red hot stars of CIC's 'Roast Beef' and our honorary Rude Dude for the week! Come along as we take a look at "Bye Bye Birdie", in which a spoiled Michelle finally gets her comeuppance on the first day of preschool and Stephanie's obsession with DJ has dire ramifications. Also on the table: Who on the call sheet was Eddie's first source of erotic arousal? Where can we learn more about Brandon's new spin on the table? Why the fuck was "Misty's Song" released as a single in Germany? As usual, we have a lot of questions, but we only have so much time. You know what we'd appreciate? A five star review in the iTunes Store. Get on it. We love you, Eddie! XOXO

Virginia Muller may have sneered at her older brothers' antics while practicing witchcraft in her mother's bedroom, but that doesn't make her a creep! Look, it's her prerogative, and she gonna do what she gonna do, okay? I mean for crying out loud, she chose to sit with us in a broiling studio apartment for the purposes of this week's episode, so her instincts can't be totally wonky, right? For #55 we're discussing "Lust in the Dust", in which the girls set Danny up with a "messy" dance teacher. In other news, that adorable tater tot beloved by millions is hiding your shit and she's loving every Goddamn second of your anxiety. What else do we got for ya? Dating dealbreakers, Stephanie GIFs, and one of the most confusing resumes for a guest star to date. Spoiler: There are two identical Karens in this universe, as well as two identical Connies. It's fucking bug nut nuts. Ciao, we love you!

Mary Beth Smith is no stranger to the world of podcasts. Her show, MBSing, is fantastic and you should definitely make it part of your regular rotation. That's not a recommendation, it's a straight up demand! Have you become a subscriber? Cool. Good. Join us as we comb through "Misadventures in Babysitting", a tale of one young girl's attempt to secure her own phone line. It's also the tale of a poker game gone awry and why positive communication between lovers is bullshit. Look, it's a complex tale! Also: Clarissa, Sabrina, Touched By An Angel, C-Bear and Jamal, Girl Meets World, and Dragonball Z! Bruce Baum is back and Mike Binder's 'The Sex Monster' sounds like a miserable piece of sexist garbage. Love you! XOXO

Saurabh Pande may be an incorrigible rascal but that doesn't mean he can't be an honorary Rude Dude just like everyone else. To prove it, he came to the studio and helped us examine "No More Mr. Dumb Guy", in which Jesse's ego is shattered by intellectuals operaring at a 10th grade level. Meanwhile, Danny is assaulting an oblivious patron of the arts and Michelle is using her gift of language to shut everyone right the fuck down. We'll also get to know a homeless film critic and dive once again into the resumes of former Full House guest stars, so prepare yourself for all of that! Have you snuck onto a friend's laptop and subscribed to the show via iTunes? It's a breach of trust, sure, but they'll thank you for it. THEY WILL THANK YOU.

Today's episode features Brandon and Jonathon and ... oh yeah, Sarah Dell'Amico! But unlike Stacey from this week's particularly disorienting chunk of Full House, Sarah is an absolute joy. Come along with us as we dive once more into the world of advertising and discover why it makes no Goddamn sense whatsoever. And hey, if you've been searching for inspiration for that Comet/Mr. Bear fuck fiction, search no more, weary traveler. Additional docket topics include cocktail wieners, the joys of a good hotel room, and why Florida probably shouldn't be your choice for young romance. It's a hoot and you'll even get to hear our sterling Roseanne impressions, so clean out your canals and get to listening right the heck now. XOXO

Boom! Rattle! Roll! Hold on to your hats and your socks, guys and gals, because this week we're discussing "Aftershocks" with the one and only Libby Schreiner! Libby is our 50th guest and honorary Rude Dude and she brings a particularly keen insight to the table. We're gonna need it if we're to diagnose poor Stephanie, who walks away from San Fran's latest tremblor like she's coming out of Vietnam. She can't take it, man! The quake is all around her, man! In other news, DJ is playing Mrs. Claus in the Christmas play (this is a Christmas episode, apparently) and she has a big honking zit on her sniffer! Poor DJ. Poor, dumb, illogical DJ. We'll also learn about Libby's fear of a very particular scientific occurrence and why everyone was talking about Cody back in junior high. It wasn't because he was popular, we'll tell ya that much. Thank you to the lovely individuals who penned our latest five star reviews in the iTunes Store. Follow their lead and write your own today! XOXO howrudepodcast.libsyn.com hrpodcas

Lindsay Lewin joins us this week to discuss "The Greatest Birthday on Earth", in which Michelle celebrates the beginning of her third year on this miserable planet. Coincidentally, we recorded this episode on Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's birthday, and we had no Goddamn clue. So yeah, happy belated birthday, you scary witch sisters! But enough about them, what about Lindsay? Well, she's got all kinds of birthday memories on deck, including her financially debilitating love for a certain JTT. Did we mention she was a member of TLC? She was totally a member of TLC, the group you immediately bring to mind when those letters are said out loud, strung together. We promise! As always, please take a moment to pen a five star review for us in the iTunes Store and tell all of your friends about the show. #SpreadtheWord #XOXO

Michael Gau is our esteemed guest this week and his enthusiasm for 'Full House' beats out anything we've seen thus far. He genuinely loves the show and has a crackerjack story about seeing Jodie Sweetin speak. Was the shirt he wore at the time a little disturbing? Sure. Perhaps even more than a little! We're tackling "Dr. Dare Rides Again" this week, in case you didn't already know. Who is Jesse in 1990? Is he Dr. Dare ... or Dr. Dairy Farm Cowboy Apron Nancy Pants? Scott Baio is on hand to lend his perspective and push our beloved Uncle to the edge. Also: Comet is back and annoying the FUCK out of poor Michelle. Additionally: Scary ladder stories, finding your true self in and out of college, and whether it's okay to own a denim jacket that sports leather sleeves. One more thing: WE LOVE YOU.

Saliha Muttalib was once the member of a sister gang. She gave it up after a pair of life altering moments and now works alone under the guise of Ghost Pussy. Look, we're gonna unpack all of that this week, but all you really have to know is "Divorce Court" provided a lot more for us to discuss than the execrable "Puppy Love". Who exactly is getting a divorce? DJ and Stephanie. Can sisters get a divorce? No. Should grown men spend their time making foolish Halloween bets and should grown women spend their time filming the results? No. No, no, a thousand and one Arabian no's. But this is how the Tanners operate and at this point we can't really be surprised. Saliha is a joy and we are so glad she came by the official Rude Dude studio. MAKE. SOME. TIME. And pen a positive review for us in the iTunes Store! It won't take but a moment. Get your fingers working, baby!

"And They Call It Puppy Love" marks a new low for the already dire series. It's a droning black hole of television almost entirely devoid of incident. There's a dog! Jesse is studying for his driver's test! We can't boil it down any further than that. Luckily, the one and only Adal Rifai was there with us every step of the way, racing past Joey's excerable dog "impression" and an unsettling amount of familial intimacy. We learned all about Adal's first steps into comedy after being a quiet kid for years, as well as his time working for the somewhat seedy operation known as Family Video. And soon you'll learn about it too! Get those ears primed, guys and gals. Full House may have let us down but WE will never let YOU down. Rude. Dudes. Rude. Dudes! XOXO

Tyler Davis joined us for our 46th episode and we think that's a snap and a half! Newsflash: Joey's time in the comedy world is quickly running out and only a successful appearance on Star Search will bring him back from the brink. He has goals! He has standards! He's an idiot. He's insufferable. But hey, if you were wondering about our respective Bobe Hope impressions then THIS is the episode for YOU, baby. Also on deck: Gundam nostalgia, the nebulous rules of Pog matches, animation aspirations, and way too much insight on the little loved 'Kung Pow! Enter the Fist'. Have you taken a moment to find us in the iTunes Store and show us some love with five shiny stars? If you've been with us for some time and have yet to shower us with your shiny star love, please do so today. We'll hug ya and we'll kiss ya! XOXO

Well, let's just get this out in the open: I, Jon Pernisek, truly am the worst. At a certain point during this episode I completely make an ass out of myself and for that I apologize to my co-host and buddy, Brandon. I am sorry, Brandon! That said, let's focus on the positives, like this week's wonderful guest, Alison Lynch! She's here to help us discuss "Granny Tanny", a timely episode in that it focuses on Moms. Who are mothers? What are mothers? Why do we love and adore them so much, especially when they turn into fancy Grandmothers? Also, why are people kissing each other SO MUCH in this episode? Seriously, it's a new record for gross kissing. Stop it! Also: The resume of Doris Roberts, shoelace techniques, Looney Tune comparisons, and bedtime issues. It's all here! And yes, I'm still the worst. I'm worse than Charlie Brown! Aye, me. See you next week, guys and gals. XOXO

Michael Gomez is here to aid us in our discussion of "Nerd for a Day" and that is most certainly a boom. What's happening to America's sort of favorite white family this time around? Stephanie is casually decimating the spirit of a classmate. A hug therapist is bringing Danny and Joey closer, literally if not figuratively. DJ is studying Michelle as part of some vague English assignment. Also: Harry is back. BOOM. You'll learn a lot about Michael in our interview, including his penchant for catch phrases and predilection for a particular part of the human anatomy. No, it's not the kneecap. Have you taken a moment to give us a positive iTunes review? Be a boom and do that today! XOXO

Justine Krueger comes from a weird clan and she's bringing her all for this, the 43rd episode of the podcast! Join us as we pick apart "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (In 22 Minutes)", in which the greatest romance in television history is nearly dismantled by an age-old debate: Which is better, horsing or music? The stakes have never been lower! Sorry, I mean higher, clearly this is a big deal. Supplemental viewing: 'Look Who's Talking' and 'Fat Man and Little Boy'. One is about a sassy baby. The other is about the Manhatten Project. There's literally no way of knowing which is which. Justine, we thank you for being yet another wonderful guest on our roster. And we thank YOU, the listener, for giving us a positive review in the iTunes Store! XOXO

Steve Labedz just got a mani-pedi and he is more than ready to help us take down "Back to School Blues", in which DJ learns how to slut shame her fellow students in the poisonous jungle that is JUNIOR HIGH. In other news, Joey and Jesse go golfing and holy hell does it result in a whole lot of nothing. Stick around as we learn about Steve's egghead days and why Brandon's foray into television is gonna be real big. Real big, baby. Hey: Have you carved out a bit of time to leave a review in the iTunes Store? We love those sweet, sweet stars, baby. You know who gave us five stars? STEVE LABEDZ. And he's the best! Be like Steve.

Meredith Stepien may or may not be a black cat. We may never know! She may or may not be able to reach her long lost "Aunt" through this podcast. We may never know! She may or may not manage to identify the song that's in her head, but again, we may never know! Spoiler: We found out what song Meredith is talking about but you can only discover the answer by checking us out on Facebook. Look, all we know FOR SURE is she's our guest for Episode 41, in which we deconstruct the fever-pitch pacing and bizarre left turns of "Tanner's Island". Congratulations, dummies, we're officially in season three. Meredith was a joy to have in the studio (and a joy in life in general) so don't skip out on her goofy-great stories. Meow! Meow!

Who's that calling in on the teen line? Why, it's none other than Nick Delehanty, our esteemed guest for this week! Yes, we're back after a four month hiatus. If you didn't notice the hiatus it's because we've been releasing backlogged recordings on a bi-weekly basis, but no more. We are now back to a regular, weekly release schedule, so let's get cozy, shall we? Nick is here to help us discuss both parts of "Luck Be A Lady", in which Jesse is bound and determined to cinch poor Becky to his hip for life. In other news, Joey may have won $100k and we learn more about the series 'Simon and Simon' than anyone would care to know in a lifetime. If you have to ask if Nick is great then you clearly haven't met Nick. He's great! Stick around for his carnie stories and find out why children may or may not be a good idea for you. XOXO

Atra Asdou is here to call you a dickhole and call it a day. But before she calls you a dickhole and calls it a day, she's gonna help us discuss I'm There For You, Babe, in which Jesse plays the role of Atlas and finds himself bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. Cookies, soccer practice, jingles, wedding, music, car repair, where does it end, WHERE DOES IT END? In the grave, Jesse. In the cool, calming dirt ... of the grave. Atra is also here to tell us about herself but here's something we learned after turning the microphone off: Atra's brother used to put cheese slices in sockets and then eat said cheese from said sockets. Right? Truth is always stranger than fiction, folks. Hey, why not take a moment to leave us a review in iTunes, you ungrateful goon? XOXO