How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Jessie Stegner has taken a short break from scrapbooking to aid us in our dissection of Mad Money, in which Jesse harbors a filthy secret and Joey can't seem to remember an astonishing debt from his past. If you're in the market for a crazed Monroe impersonator and DJ in a nauseating cowboy get-up then this is definitely your bag, baby. Don't forget, leave us a five star review in the iTunes store and shoot us a message at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. We await your kind words! And hey, did we mention we're on Tumblr now? Find us at hrpodcast.tumblr.com, ya goofs.

Becca Barish came back early from her trip to Israel just so she could be with us to discuss The Seven Month Itch, an epic two part saga in which almost nothing of consequence happens. True, Jesse moves out in a sexually impotent huff, and true, he hangs out with his supposedly cool friends at a ski lodge, but seriously, nothing much happens beyond that ... but there is a lot of padding! Get ready for padding, fans of said thing! If you haven't already please consider leaving us a five star review in the iTunes Store, checking us out on Facebook and shooting us an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. Brandon will kiss you if you do as much! We can gurantee it, kiddo!

Bill Letz scored a touchdown three pointer before helping us tackle Just One of the Guys, in which a sexy teen heartthrob makes a guest appearance as sexy teen cousin Steve. Will Steve's bristling masculinity drive DJ to the brink of bloody violence? Yes, yes, it most assuredly will do just that. After this delightful episode take a bit of time to leave us a five star review in the iTunes Store, check out the Facebook page and e-mail us at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. And when you're done with that you can hit the showers! Sports!

Allison Kochanski jumped off the cardboard bridge that would have led to Junior Girl Scout stardom to help us examine Danny's Very First Date, in which a moron tries to go out with a doofus and everyone freaks the fuck out. Oh, and Jesse tries to build a treehouse (sic) for baby Michelle. Join us as we discuss Allison's Pocahontas birthday, her childhood adoration of her brother-in-law and why Michelle is a stupid, stupid baby who should be put away forever (according to Allison). Head on over to the iTunes Store and leave us a positive review! Like our Facebook page! Send us an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com! No, YOU'RE YELLING.

Patrick Earls took time off from choreographic elaborate lip-sync routines to help us discuss But Seriously, Folks, in which Phyllis Diller upstages Joey for a full 90 minutes. As a result, Joey pulls a full Gordon Gecko and resolves to never pursue comedy again. Is this the gift humanity has been waiting for or will Joe prove to be even worse for the world? Find out by using your ears! Leave us a five star review in the iTunes Store and shoot an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com, as well. You know you wanna, baby! P.S. A hearty round of thanks to Zack Shornick for our spiffy new logo! XOXO

Michele Laubenthal popped in to take down A Pox in Our House, in which everyone but Danny, DJ and the ugliest baby in the world contract a case of the chicken pox. Will DJ make it to her first sleepover or will she be undone by the selfish aspirations of her father? Was Michele (our guest this week, not the ugly baby) able to avoid sleeping over at a total nerd's house or was she undone by an uncaring system run by ignorant adults? All of these questions are answered! If you haven't done so please make sure to leave us a five star review in the iTunes Store, like our page on Facebook and shoot us an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. We'd love ya for it!

Joey Gilmore (who, despite Jon's needling, is not a monster but instead quite a lovely gentleman) saunters into the studio for Half A Love Story, in which Jesse is a sniveling, sexist baby who can't stand the idea of a woman resisting his grimy advances. Learn all about Joey's days as a scrappy traffic reporter and how this experience allows him to see right through the sham that is Full House. Cringe as you do a Google Image Search for King Kong Bundy. And when you're done, why not give us a five star review in the iTunes Store or contact us via our Facebook page / thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com? Ya know ya wanna reach out to these rude dudes!

Kristin Ramsey swam to us from the depths of a mermaid sea to figure out Sisterly Love, in which everyone is systematically trying to crush DJ's dreams of becoming a famous actor. A miniature Meryl Streep? FORGET IT, DJ. Kristin also waxes nostalgic on her star-making turn as Grandma VonShlapshtick, and trust us, every second is worth your time. If you've been on board so far and have yet to leave us a glowing review in the iTunes Store, here we are, Brandon and Jonathon, on our knees, asking, "Puh-witty pwease?" Nah, we're too rude for that. 'Cause we're just a couple a rude dudes! Get in touch with us via our Facebook page or thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com if you are a rude dude as well!

Kristin Hopkins zipped by the studio to examine Our Very First Promo, in which a ferret terrorizes the Tanner household and a Lupone-alike tries to give the family an Italian makeover. Are there moments of wildly arrogant racism? Oh, you can put good money on it, my friend, and be sure to stick around so Kristin can tell you all about her unconventional childhood swimming lessons. It's a terrifying story! Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to leave a five star review in the iTunes Store. Join the club and let us hear your glorious feedback! You can also reach us via e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. See you next week!

Taylor Brown crosses our threshold to rap about 'The Big Three-O', in which Danny faces the Grim Reaper and a mysterious car accident forces us to once again question the death of Pam Tanner. Warning: This is an especially silly episode fueled by our delicious sponsor, Mountain Dew Baja Blast, so get ready for a little more giggling and nonsensical riffing than usual. Thought about leaving a five star review for the show in the iTunes Store? Make that dream a reality today! Get in touch with us on Facebook or via thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com! Let us know you're out there, fellow Rude Dudes.

Adam Archer took a break from reciting the 3 Ninjas screenplay in its entirety to help us pick apart Joey's Place. Will Joey find his place ... in more ways than one? Or will he wind up in the gutter, bleeding from the mouth as punishment for his crimes against humanity? Only time will tell! If you have not yet found the time please consider leaving us a five star review in the iTunes Store. You can reach us via thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com or say hello on our Facebook page, which could always use a few more fans. We love fans! And you! Kisses. Mmm, sweet kisses. Bye!

Stacey Smith came over to put us in headlocks and break down The Miracle of Thanksgiving, an episode in which everyone is sad but no one is willing to seek the help of a licensed therapist. Tuck in for some crispy dark meat because it gets pretty damn dark! Have you left us a five star review in the iTunes store? Please do so and help us rise in the ranks of the online globosphere, or, you know, whatever it's called! Also please feel free to send us feedback via thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com or on our Facebook page. See ya next week!

Trevor Martin clomp-clomp-clomps through our door to sift through the nonsense that is Jesse's Girl, in which the questionably named Corina Spicer creates a rift between our least favorite uncles. Find out why Trevor dropped his nickname at just the right moment and how to do a better Cowardly Lion than Joey before leaving a five star review in the iTunes Store. Wanna get in touch with us? Shoot an e-mail our way via thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. It will make us smile on our faces!

Britta Rowings rode by on her trusty bike to wax intellectual on Knock Yourself Out, in which Danny proves he is not quite ready for primetime and Michelle is vaguely sick (or so we are told). Ms. Rowings also relays a bit of info regarding primordial dwarves, so you will not wanna miss a second of this show, trust. Fans can reach out to us by leaving a glowing review in the iTunes store or shooting us an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. Love ya!

Alan Linic pays us a visit to deconstruct both Sea Cruise, in which Danny uses his wife’s death to inspire a late night fishing trip with the boys, and Daddy’s Home, in which Joey discovers a love for leather culture. Alan’s feedback is especially objective when you realize he had never seen a full episode before this session, much less two back to back. Are you loving the show? Let us know by leaving a five star review in the iTunes Store and/or contacting us via thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. Get in touch with us, munchkins! Warning: With the understanding that we are all grown-ups here, please know Jon delivers some especially salty language this time around. You've been warned!

Marie Maloney drops in to dissect a pair of surprisingly homophobic and sexist episodes. First up, The First Day of School, in which Stephanie has a crippling panic attack and DJ discovers she’s an omelette head. Then The Return of Grandma threatens to add three more cast members to the mix, one of which may be a drag queen. Are you on board for the full How Rude! experience? Take a few minutes to leave a review in the iTunes Store and/or send feedback to thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. We wanna hear from you!

Willie Myers joins us to discuss the thoroughly maddening Our Very First Night as well as Jodie Sweetin’s unfortunately titled memoir, unSweetined (you can’t make this stuff up, folks). A heaping helping of gratitude goes out to Cary Davenport for creating our wonderful intro and outro music, as well as everyone out there listening. If you’re a fan please take a few minutes to leave a review in the iTunes Store and/or send feedback to thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. You're the heart and the hand we hold onto!

Jonathon Pernisek and Brandon Shockney kick off How Rude! The Full House Podcast by deconstructing both the original, unaired pilot (starring John Posey in place of Bob Saget) and the first official episode, Our Very First Show. Newsflash: Full House may not be a great series. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact us at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com.