Film Snuff

Hey, you guys! We all loved Richard Donner’s 1985 adventure comedy, “The Goonies,” as kids, but do we really have to spend the rest of our lives pretending that it is a quality film? Sure, Jeff Cohen’s portrayal of Chunk is brilliant, but the rest of the movie smells like Phys Ed. Oscar-nominated filmmaker Sean Astin plays Mikey, a greedy bracefaced dunce who leads his friends into enormous peril so that he can bail out his deadbeat parents who haven’t been making their mortgage payments. Oscar-nominated actor Josh Brolin plays Brand, Mikey's workout-obsessed bandana-wearin’ older brother who doesn’t really do much in the film other than attract a girl who barely knows how to play the piano. Jeff Cohen plays Chunk, a gentle soul who wanted nothing to do with this misguided quest and ultimately ends up saving everyone’s lives, including the bad guys, by using his undeniable charisma to befriend a Herculean behemoth. Corey Feldman plays Mouth, an annoying narcissistic jerk who translates Spanish throughout the