Hindsight Is Horrifying

Jingle All the Way: “It’s Turbo Time!”Adam Darby is back to make Darth and Jason feel as old as possible. Young Adam was FOUR in 1996, you guys (he totally missed the Olympics in Atlanta). But he made up for his glaringly young age with his killer Arnold impressions. He is accompanied by his delightful girlfriend, Alyssa, who is not a policeman. She’s a PRINCESS!In this particular film, you witness Tickle Me Elmo culture at its absolute worst. The lesson gleaned from this Christmas movie is that, if you don’t get your kid a toy for Christmas, he will become Darth Methamphetamine. Also, your postman will threaten to blow up a radio DJ. So get your kid that special toy they want; Polly Pocket might be a choking hazard, but not in a David Carradine kind of way.Jingle All the Way displays the typical 90s trope of terrible dads attempting to make up their bad behavior in extreme ways. #Hindsighters, NEVER miss your kid’s