Radio Free Dogpatch

The Duck! City was smokin' the day after the State of the Union crashed and burned, reaching a high of 72 degrees — which was 18 degrees above average. It's nice to be above average in something. But still, damn. In any event, the roses are budding and so is everything else. The primates who call this desert home may view with alarm the federal knuckles being dragged into the Colorado River Compact, which remains an insoluable dilemma to its signatories and will join the long list of issues about which His Excremency King Piggy the Sticky-Fingered knows nothing and cares even less. And Your Humble Narrator, who ordinarily yearns to toddle off to someplace toasty about this time of year, finds himself in the awkward position of grumbling about beautiful weather. At home. In February. All of which means — yes, yes, yes — it's time for a Coconut Telegraph edition of Radio Free Dogpatch. Apologies to the late Jimmy Buffett, from whom I liberated the headline. • Technical notes: RFD uses the Ethos mic from Earthwo