Bible Belt Bros

When is it Gossip? So apparently, 10,000 Southern Baptists walked into a convention center, and it wasn't the setup to a joke. It was the setup to cancel everything fun in my life. I'm talking about the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting, where they decided to target—and I quote—"pornography, sports betting, and same-sex marriage, as well as willful childlessness." Now, I get the first one. I understand the marriage thing. But sports betting? Really? You're coming for my FanDuel account? And "willful childlessness"? What's next, are they going to start monitoring who's using birth control? Are they going to have a fertility committee? "Excuse me, Brother Johnson, we noticed you only have two kids. Care to explain?" The Great Fantasy Football Controversy Here's where it gets personal. I'm sitting there listening to this news, and all I can think about is my church fantasy football league. Because apparently, according to these Southern Baptist overlords, I can't have a prize at the end of the season.