Fitness & Sports Performance

Parents have so much to do with the success and failures of their son or daugther and it's not a subject I feel is discussed enough. How should I talk to my son or daugther after a bad game or tough loss?  What about expectaions are you looking for your son or daugther to be successful b/c you where or where not?  Are you living thru you son or daughter and not letting them be their own person?