Media Savvy Moms

Have you ever had a sex talk with your kids that ended with a look of disgust? Why do we bother having these talks? Does building a foundation of healthy sexuality really help protect our kids from the harms of pornography?  We’re back again … revisiting the sex talk. Do we sound like a broken record? Good! You should too. Because that’s awesome parenting! If we have to remind our kids every day to wash their hands and brush their teeth, why should talking about vital topics like sex and pornography be any different?  This is just one of the super sweet points our guest, Kayley Lynch, touched on in today’s podcast. You might remember Kayley from a previous blog post — “You mean it’s not a BA-jina?” (Check it out. It’s one of our greatest hits!) Last time we touched base with Kayley, she was just getting over her mama-jitters and talking to her kids about sex. A few years have passed since then. So, we thought we’d follow up and see how things were going now.  More about today’s guest Kayley Lynch recently r

Do you ever wonder … How can I protect my kids from pornography? Where do I even start? Does it make you hyperventilate a little? We get it. Let’s break it down and make a plan. The porn industry. It’s big. It’s bad. And it’s coming after our kids. It’s no joke. We’ve learned enough in recent episodes about Pornhub and sexualized media to know this. Right?  So where does that leave us? Shaking in our boots? Ready to live on a desert island with our kids with no technology? (A parent can dream … )  If we could give you a magic wand and make it all go away, we would. Gladly! We’d love to POOF all that porn right into oblivion! But nope. We can’t run away. This is parenting in a media saturated world. And we got this! Go team!  It’s time to sit down and make a game plan. One step at a time. Tune in to learn the 4 essential steps to protect kids from pornography. Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexual

Moms, listen up! You know the challenges of raising kids in a media saturated world. You’re constantly thinking about your kids and worrying about how they’re doing online. You’re concerned about filters, parental controls, making room for open communication, and creating safe places to talk. But when was the last time you stopped to think about how you’re doing? Is there a chance that you’ve let mom guilt take over? Maybe just a little?  Okay, we know dads feel all these feelings too; but today we’re focusing on mom. Emotions surrounding kids’ use of devices can spiral pretty quick. Let us know if this sounds familiar: “If I were a better mom my kids would be doing exactly what I tell them to do and we wouldn’t be having all these challenges.” How do we know this? We’ve been there too!  So where do these emotions come from? Are they good? Bad? Healthy? Hurtful?  … Is there a better way? Life Coach Vauna Davis says that emotions are always worth exploring. They help us understand the world we live in and wha

In our crazy digital world, we know it’s not a matter of IF our kids will see porn—it’s a matter of WHEN. But what then? After exposure, will they go back? How do we know if they are struggling with an addiction?  As parents, we just want to keep our kids safe. That’s the goal. But in order to protect our kids from the harms of pornography, we need to understand what we’re dealing with. For instance, what’s the difference between accidental exposure, a habit, and addiction? What qualifies as an “addiction,” and can we really use that word when it comes to children and teens?  Paul Lavergne, a Registered Psychotherapist and Certified Sexual Recovery Therapist, is here on the podcast to help us sort through these complicated questions, and give us answers, resources and peace of mind. Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexuality. For complete podcast notes, visit http://parentsaware.info/index.php/podc

Young or old, our kids need to know: When it comes to my body, I AM IN CHARGE, and there are lines no one can cross without my permission! But how do we get that into their heads? When we teach our kids about body safety, we’re helping to protect them from a host of dangers—from predators and sharing nudes to unwanted sexual attention and date rape.  But how do we instill this knowledge without scaring them to death? Think of it this way. Rather than painting a picture of the big scary world and encouraging our kids to cower in a corner, we can put a cape of confidence around them and teach them to trust their powers of self-awareness.  So, let’s talk about WHY, WHEN, and HOW we empower kids and teens with protective information. Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexuality. For complete podcast notes, visit http://parentsaware.info/index.php/podcast/.

Do you ever get the feeling that society views kids as troublemakers, and parents as the good guys? We need to be careful about stereotypes—and mindful of where we point fingers. A better approach is to consider how to establish a strong foundation that can help kids make great decisions now and in the future.  Yes, part of being a kid is to test the waters, to experiment, and to try new things. As we’ve said before, curiosity is what drives learning. But the truth is, there are tons of great kids out there. And they’re all looking for answers on how to navigate every aspect of life. They need—and crave!—guidance from parents and mentors who genuinely care about their health and well-being.  Digital devices tend to amplify our fears about teen attitude and risky behavior. No doubt! There are plenty of online dangers to be found. Never mind that the tech itself is inherently addictive. Left to navigate the crazy digital world on their own, will kids be ready? Our guest, Brett Ullman, author of the book, Pare

We’re one month into the COVID-19 crisis. Working from home, schooling from home, social distancing, sheltering-in-place. Going stir crazy. How’s everyone doing? Want a tool to help?  All of life’s challenges are now packed into a tiny box (our homes) full of emotions, work, school, and whatever else your family happens to have in the mix.  On Day 1, everyone and their dog had a plan, with pretty lists all in a row. But by week’s end all those plans were in the dust-bin, and we were huddled in a corner watching Netflix and binging on chocolate ice cream. But now we’re in for the long haul. So we should probably find a plan that fits somewhere in between. Right?  Tune in for a chat about what’s REALLY going on and some tips on how to support our families through these challenging times. Plus ... Find out how to download your FREE **KIDS-AT-HOME SURVIVAL GUIDE**  & Screen Safety Plan. [For complete show notes visit ParentsAware.info]  

For years Pornhub, the world's largest porn site, has marketed themselves as just another household name—as basic as breakfast cereal, as constant as the daily news. However, a single petition to shut down Pornhub is blowing the whistle. Today, we're talking to the woman behind the movement. Recent investigative reports have uncovered what many have long suspected: Pornhub profits from the commercial sex trafficking of minors. Meanwhile, they hide behind third-party immunity, claiming they are “not responsible” for the content uploaded to their site. And so far they’ve gotten away with it. Lucky for us, we have a powerhouse on our side. Laila Mickelwait, director of abolition for Exodus Cry, has been working to combat sexual exploitation and sex trafficking for over a decade. Her research keeps bringing her back to the connection between trafficking and pornography.  It didn’t take much to find Pornhub at the center of all this exploitation. Laila is particularly concerned with the minimal efforts take

What is the most important message you want your daughter to hear from you about sex? Such a great question! We wish we had come up with it. But truly, it’s from Dina Alexander of Educate Empower Kids. Lucky us, she’s back on the podcast! This time helping us take sex talks for daughters a step beyond periods and puberty.  We don’t have to tell you that the media isn’t very kind when it comes to women. From movies and magazines to social media and porn, women and girls are airbrushed and photoshopped, exploited, objectified, and generally made to feel like they are just not enough … or just enough to satisfy the male gaze.  We claim to be an enlightened society, where women are respected and heard. And yet the same old dangerous sexual stereotypes repeatedly surface. Think about that. While we’re telling our girls that they can grow up to be anything they want—POWER TO THE PERIOD!—women are continually portrayed as sex objects on social media and in film and print. Is it surprising then that these scripts f

Ready or not, COVID-19 is turning our lives upside-down. And parenting during social isolation? The struggle is real! How are we going to keep our kids safe, happy, and healthy—and still maintain our sanity?  Sudden school closures all over North America have put many parents into a tail-spin. And that was just the beginning. As the days stretch on, regulations are getting more strict, It’s becoming clear that social distancing isn’t going to end anytime soon. In addition to school, many of our families have lost access to health clubs, churches, team sports, libraries, music lessons, scouts, and a whole host of structured activities that keep us busy, productive, and allow us to interact with other human beings. What are we going to do now that those options are out of the picture?  After just a few days of being stuck in the house, with no one else to interact with but each other does anyone else feel like their head might explode? We have a lonnnng way to go yet! Have no fear! We’re here to help! And we’v

Masturbation. There are probably as many ways to address this topic as there are families. The question is, how do you start the conversation with your kids?  Okay. We’ll admit it. We were nervous about having this talk too. In fact, the last time we felt like this was probably before an election. You know that feeling? When you have intensely passionate emotions about an issue or candidate? And you just KNOW you are right—and everyone else is wrong! And then you speak out (or post something on social media) and find out that even some of your best friends are in a different camp. What?! Masturbation is like that. It’s a topic that evokes strong emotions. It makes us blush. It might even bring up childhood memories that trigger guilt or shame. However, when paired with pornography—as it often is in our digital world—it’s another issue altogether. So where do we start the conversation with our kids? In this episode, we’ve put together talking points to help:  Decide where you stand,  Start the conversation,

When our girls look at the world around them, how do they feel? Important or insignificant? Adored or objectified?  There’s a basic truth. It’s this, that all girls have value, beauty and purpose. Yet for so many the truth has been hidden. Thousands of girls in our cities and towns across this globe have never been told their worth. Bella Girl, a teen outreach program in Toowoomba, Australia, has made it their mission to change that!  20 years ago, Letitia Shelton attended a large multi-faith conference. There she heard her mayor speak passionately about the youth of their city—their struggles and their hurt. The mayor then challenged those in the room to look beyond the walls of their separate churches. She asked them to reach out to the youth of their city and do something! This is the week we celebrate International Women’s Day. What better way than to recognize a woman who was inspired by her female mayor to make a positive impact in the lives of girls in her city! More about today’s guest Letitia Shelto

Parenting is no easy task. We make rules. We set boundaries. But will they stick? Wondering how to get your kids to listen?   Let’s face it. Parenting isn’t what we always imagined it would be.    Once upon a time, when we were young and childless, and we walked past a little person screaming bloody murder in a store, we might have thought to ourselves, “That will NEVER be MY child!” And then, years later, it was our child. And as we stared down at our tiny tantruming tot and watched the others walking by wagging their heads at us, we thought … ah, the circle of life.   Turns out there are a few tried and true “parenting rules” that work wonders getting kids to warm up to advice and guidance from mom and dad. But it goes both ways. These rules also help to ground us in realistic expectations.    For complete show notes visit ParentsAware.info  

Parenting is hard enough … but add a spouse who’s actively using pornography, and you have an additional batch of stress that can often feel unbearable. So how do you do it? How do you balance both at the same time?  We talk about hard stuff on our show, but this topic feels even more tricky than usual. This show might not apply to your situation. But more than likely, it will apply to at least one woman you know—whether you are aware of it or not. Family dynamics are complicated enough. Marriage, kids, work, parenting. But what about when your spouse is addicted to pornography? That’s a whole different ball of wax. According to our guest today, Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, most women—even those doing recovery work alongside their husbands—are not getting the help they need. IMPORTANT: We understand that husbands are not always the ones who become addicted to pornography. We recognize that women are also susceptible to porn addiction. That is a topic for another time. However, Betrayal T

Ah … Valentine’s Day … time for paper hearts, candy, red roses … and a great reason to talk about about dating, relationships, and sex with your kids? Absolutely!    What’s your first Valentine’s Day memory? Exchanging those little perforated cards in elementary school? Smearing pink frosting on a sugar cookie? For us, Valentine’s must include chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. (Yum.)   In the beginning, “liking” someone was so simple, wasn’t it? “Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend? Check the box: yes or no.” Then pass the note back after lunch!   But as we get older, LOVE becomes a little more complicated.   It’s our job as parents to un-complicate things for our kids—to get back to basics! But how do we teach them what real love is, what a healthy relationship looks like, and how to navigate the craziness in our porn-saturated culture? Let’s talk about it!   For complete podcast notes, visit our website: ParentsAware.info

We all know there are big bad corporations out there benefiting from sexual exploitation. But which ones are they? And which ones affect our families the most?   It’s a scary world. Right? But we can’t hide under a rock. Or put our kids in a bubble. It’s our job, as parents, to be informed about the dangers that surround our families—and to do something about them. Join us for a chat with Jake Roberson, digital director at the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, as we take a peek at the Dirty Dozen List and discuss some great tools to take action!   

We’re parenting in a porn-saturated world. So, how do we avoid the paralyzing fear that sometimes comes with protecting our kids? How do we know what we can and can’t control? Let’s BE IN THE NOW and figure it out together!   “Mindfulness” is a big buzzword these days. And it’s no wonder. Our lives are jam-packed with To-Do lists, social media, jobs, family responsibilities, stress, goals, lunch dates, financial worries, planning for the future, doctor’s appointments, Siri and Alexa ... And—oh yeah—pornography!    Does it ever feel like a thousand voices are screaming at you at the same time, all the time?    This is life in our modern world.    To counter all of this noise, we’ve begun seeking strategies to calm ourselves and listen to one thing at a time—to find peace, and “be in the now.”    When it comes to parenting and pornography, this is an essential skill. It’s much too easy to look at the big picture, at the big bad porn industry threatening to swallow up our children, and to get overwhelmed and pa

I hear a lot about human trafficking in the news. Of course I’m concerned. But what do I do about it? Does it really affect me … or my children?  What if your daughter (or son) was being trafficked right under your nose? While she was still living close to home and seeing you several times a week? And you had no idea it was happening? Does this seem unrealistic? In fact, that’s precisely what happened to our guest.  A mother’s story about human trafficking We’re talking with Lynda Harlos, a mother who was caught in a nightmare. Her daughter was being trafficked for sex—without even realizing it. Now Lynda and her daughter, Samantha, are doing everything they can to educate others about this growing crisis. Human trafficking isn’t something that just happens overseas. It doesn’t just happen to other people. It’s happening right here in our own communities. And it can happen to any family.  Often, when we hear about BIG issues like human trafficking we don’t know where to start or how to respon

Hey parents! Do you know what Pornhub is? Chances are, your kids know enough about it to carry on a conversation around the lunch table at school. Are you prepared to fight back against this multi-million-dollar monstrosity? We’ve recently had an epiphany—a lightbulb moment if you will. Since we fight porn every day, we took it for granted that everyone knows what Pornhub is, but apparently that’s not the case! (See story below.) Well … you can’t stop an enemy if you don’t know it exists. So today we’re giving you the parent’s definitive guide to Pornhub.  Can’t fight what you don’t know A few weeks ago Marilyn was in a women's meeting. The ladies were talking generally about choices, and then they started discussing how you might respond if you see a threat creeping in on someone or something you love. The first thing is to decide between doing something or nothing, right?  She had an example to share, so she spoke up:  My heart was bursting, because a friend of mine had told me the day before how she had i

How can we work WITH our kids to help create healthy tech boundaries?    Today’s special guest is a mom and a screen time expert who has some practical tools to help us collaborate as a family.    Andrea Davis and her husband, Tyler, live in beautiful Hood River, Oregon. They are the parents of five children: four girls and one boy. Andrea is a former teacher, an outdoor enthusiast, and has been a stay-at-home for almost 15 years. She and Tyler co-created the website, Better Screen Time, where they share positive strategies for screens and technology so parents can worry less and connect more with their kids.   Highlights from this episode: -When you’re considering how much screen time is appropriate, look around. Take an assessment of what really matters. It’s the relationships and connections we have with family. -Keep an eye on what’s important. Worry less and connect more.  -Pay attention to “stopping cues” when you are on your screens. Consider boundaries for health.  -How do you want to fill the white