Beat Your Genes: An Evolutionary Psychology Podcast For Finding Happiness In The Modern World

Evolutionary Psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD, and Harvard social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD. discuss physical attractiveness & general health, whether a relationship can fall apart from a simple misunderstanding, choosing one passion from many, and finding the courage to make hard decisions about a relationship.   Study mentioned:  "Physical Attractiveness & CardioMetabolic Risk" https://doi.org/10.1002/ajhb.23895  Q1: Do physically attractive people have an easier time developing attractive skills? I'll give an example because I'm having trouble wording this: on shows like American Idol, more often than not when someone can sing, they are physically attractive. I know that that instance is probably just selection bias by the editors of the show, but it got me thinking: are attractive people on average born with more attractive genes which are also better at developing attractive skills? Q2.   Is there anything one can do to improve chances of “qualifying” for a pair bond besides following the “10 paid da

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss:  You talk about Tears, Anger, Force, Fraud and Free Trade RA strategies. Why did you exclude sex from this list? And in particular, women dangling sex to get men to do stuff. I guess we can ideally put this in the FREE TRADE category, but sex can be gotten by using any of these other RA strategies too I suppose. Anything more to add here? Do the doctors have any thoughts on the ability of people in different socioeconomic situations to be friends, or maintaining friendships when socioeconomic situations that were similar become disparate? I am in my 40s and have remained close with a group of four other women from college. We all come from upper middle class backgrounds and are professionals doing pretty well. However, one of my friends has become wealthy. I feel that this causes some resentment and awkwardness between her a couple of other women who become irritated with her and don’t seem to believe that she could possibly have any problems. My friend who i

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Howk discuss the following questions: I listened to your talk discussing whether humans actually have Free Will: If we, as an organism are just doing what we perceive is optimal for the species in survival and reproduction, does that mean that I should not be very angry at my father who cheated on my Mom repeatedly, divorced her, and spent the rest of his life hitting on women whenever one seemed available in front of him? It has bothered me my whole life and as his daughter I hate him for that. But of course, as I am agreeable, I have never told him that but deep down I resent him. Does the average man prefer to make a higher salary than his spouse?  And does the average man prefer to have a degree that is at least as advanced as his spouse?    How does it affect a man if he makes less money than his wife, or is not as accomplished academically? So I understand that women can't make themselves more attractive by earning more money, but all things being equal, will men gener

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Howk review the following questions:  How do you reconcile Dr. Jen's potted plant theory with Dr. Lisle's ego trap? As someone that is over 90th percentile introverted and emotionally unstable I find I prefer to keep my world very small and do not have energy for much socializing outside of working full time in an office full of people. Sometimes people encourage me to push myself to socialize more but I'm content spending time at home with my spouse and animals - how would I know if I avoid socializing due to an ego trap or if I'm just designing a life that fits my big 5? A friend of mine was recently dumped via text message. She was in a relationship with this man for about 6 months, everything was going well (both had been married previously and had teenage children). The breakup came as a complete shock to my friend. 6 weeks later the guy contacted my friend, appologised for dumping her and asked for a second chance.  Is it possible he was seeing someone else and realised

In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses in detail "Where does the evidence for evolutionary psychology come from?" Our first question from a listener begins, " I am incredibly fascinated by EP and feel that I have learned so much from the show. I do wonder sometimes though when the questions get answered, what evidence/research is it based on? Assuming the conclusions are inferred... there obviously isn't a set of randomized control trial which provides the answers. I ask for my own interest but also as to provide additional weight to my recommendations to friends/family to learn about this area as I have been doing for the last couple of years. " Question # 2 from a different listener:   "What personality traits correlate with people who seek continual simple pleasures in place of higher achievements, even if their community values higher achievements? Such as people who choose alcohol over the success of their career or relationship, or who shirk responsibly because it feel "too hard" or "too much" for them?"

Why do women fall in love with villains in romance novels? I was reading through my girlfriend’s provocative novels and the men in these books are not noble or kind, they are dark, twisted, cruel, violent criminals, stalkers, vampires, demons or devils. The sex scenes are aggressive and violent. An example I will never forget is the love interest, who is a stalker, violating the woman with a loaded gun and knife. Is there an evolutionary reason why women would like this? If this is what my girlfriend likes, I don’t even understand why she’s with me. I am exactly the opposite of these men. I am in a relationship with a divorced man who is 15 years my senior, with two adults (or nearly adult) children. We've been together for about two years, and he just communicated that six months ago, he kissed a close friend of ours in our shared home. He said it meant nothing (they had a previous relationship) and the kiss was intended to signalize "closure" - that it was the first and last time that something like this h

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss artifical intelligence and some of their fears for the future.  Then at 26:15, the discussion turns to answering these listener questions:  1. I am a frustrated serial monogamist female looking for my magic 10%. For the past six years, I’ve been in several long-term relationships. I enter every relationship with the hope that he is the one and the desire and dedication to make it last. However, after a year or so, I gradually realize that the person isn’t right for me, become disillusioned and fall out of love with him, and then am poached out by the next prospect. However, I never mean for this to happen, and it is painful every time.  I am truly pair-bond oriented, but I am worried that my “inability to settle down” is sending casual mating signals. I am a very demanding person in all areas of life, including this one, which inadvertently makes me fall out of love with someone because they don’t meet my standards. I was like this even before discovering e

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Howk discuss the following questions: 1.  Has the team discussed how information overload impedes progress and making changes to one's health? I'd assume one can overdo information gathering, whether it's from podcasts, books, or blogs. As a clinician, how can we help clients get out of this stagnant, noncommittal place? Also, it seems to cause people a lot of stress and anxiety when they have too many thoughts going on in their heads. I have to imagine it gets to a point where it's harmful? 2.  It was recently mentioned on the show that there isn’t any relationship that isnt a trade. I was hoping the doctors could discuss the trade aspect of a mother child relationship specifically from the mother’s perspective… as in what is she getting? I understand its the hormones that dictate the bond and that she is saving her genes.. is there more to it though like at some level is there also an awareness of gains from the children when they are adults in the future? 3.  How much does a

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss the following questions:   1. Jordan Peterson mentioned briefly in a video that increasing oxytocin can increase agreeableness. He also gives advice that agreeable people can become more disagreeable by "waking the circuit up" if it's laying dormant in you. He thinks we have a wide range of genetic propensities, some that are switched on and it's possible to switch other propensities on. Is there evidence to support either of these theories?   2. Could the doctors talk about “social climbing”? I have family members who spend much of their free time and resources trying to networking with higher status people. They join different country clubs, go to fancy fundraisers, and will cancel plans with people they have known for years if an opportunity with a fancier new acquaintance arises. They often bring up income and status in conversation, which I find a bit off putting. I can’t decide if this is pseudo esteem seeking, personality cancer, or a legitimate way to m

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss the following listener questions: How do you square the notion that there is "no 1 mate" (or job, friend etc) with the jealousy/abuse/ stalking (and worse) that happens in relationships. What type of general education on this concept could be offered to attempt to mitigate such costly stone age behavior.  Related, can u talk about the treatment of battered women in your practice, how they do or don't escape?  Buss claims one contributing cause of such behavior is patriarchal culture and institutionalized male dominance.  Any truth to that or is this just genetic like everything else? I have a frenemy (that is, a friend who was really an enemy) who I’ve long lost touch with, but whom I still irresistibly stalk on social media. She was very competitive with me in college, although I drastically outperformed her at the time (I was the dux and she was upper-middling). Nevertheless, she went on to similar feats as me, getting her PhD from Yale (again, the same as

In our 300th episode (actually episode 301, but we wanted to save it for Dr. Howk),  Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk take a break from solving listener problems and answering listener questions and instead turn towards answering some fun, personal questions.      

Upcoming seminar Sun, Feb 19:  True to Life Seminar - visit www.TrueToLife.us to register.  In this show, Dr. Lisle discusses: 1. I am still trying to figure out genetics and evolution (I wasn't taught it), so I might be way oversimplifying this. If you get a set of genes from your parents and they get a set of genes from each of their parents, wouldn't you be able to track a certain genetic trait as being from either one of your parents or one of their parents? 2. You have previously explained borderline personality.  Can we have a refresher on this, and do you have a better moniker it? 3. If you had to map out the very best way to get on the right track or stay on the right track for my health, What would be the best things for me to do? 4. My organization is constantly trying to access and improve 'group performance' and there are a variety of corporate tools marketed to optimize the effectiveness of work Teams. Is this bunk or does this have any relevance. More broadly, what do you think of "Organizationa

True To Life Seminar info:  www.TruetoLife.us Today's q's: 1.I am curious about an unpopular subject: systematic eugenics.  Has "random” selection in the mating market already produced the best possible human genes combinations? Could we generate humans with drastically higher IQ, strength, size, speed, athleticism, beauty, etc? What do you think is the hypothetical limit of human genetic potential for outlier individuals and for the average of a population?  This kind of discussion is often obscured by the obvious practical and ethical problems, rather than what it could theoretically achieve. 2.My husband's daughter is extremely disagreeable, low conscientiousness, low IQ, highly introverted, open to drugs and alcohol and unstable. She is in constant crisis and is constantly threatening suicide. My husband and I have really tried to be there for her and never miss a call, but her constant cries for attention are draining and have taken years off our lives. I don't want to discount anything that she is feeli

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss the following question: 1. Given that depression is inherently demotivating (because it is failure feedback that tells you to stop what you're doing), how might one 'bootstrap' oneself into more positive, motivated mood states? I wonder what people in the Stone Age village would have done to bounce back from failure feedback; it makes most of us want to curl into a ball and die. How does depression actually end up benefiting and motivating us?

In today's show (episode 295), Dr. Lisle discusses the following questions: 1. I am a 35 year old female and I don’t know what to do with my life. I have a bachelors degree in biochemistry and doctorate degree in pharmacy. I worked as a clinical pharmacist for a year but I got bored and I quit. Then I worked as a massage therapist, a real estate agent, and a dental hygienist. I got bored of these as well. They just didn’t satisfy me, even though I don’t even know what I’m looking for or what I want. My relationships are the same as my careers - casual at best with many different men. I really want to settle down in a career and relationship but I just seem unable to. What should I do? 2. The euthanasia law changes in Canada to include mental illness as a valid reason seem deeply disturbing to me based on an evolutionary psychology perspective for people in the majority of situations. This would have been considered a "slippery slope" argument on euthanasia in the past, I cannot see how they are considered log

In our final show of 2022, Dr. Howk and Dr. Lisle have a discussion about current events and the year to come.  For more information on their upcoming "True to Life" Seminar being held live & virtually on Feb 19th , please visit www.TruetoLife.us  

Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk are having a virtual seminar Sunday Feb 19, 2023.  Visit www.TrueToLife.us for details!  In today's episode, the Dr's discuss: 1. Could you discuss cultural appropriation?  Especially with regards to not sporting wigs etc I for one really admire when people dress up like people from my culture and use the same hair and face accessories even though in the past we were under colonial rule and oppressed. 2. Are men, now, in a world where women also make a lot of money, willing to sleep down if they themselves don't make much money? 3. In episode 288, teh Dr's talked about how one might stumble into a dream job - and exposed the dynamics that would have likely taken place. Could you help us get some idea of how young people in their 20s can increase the likelihood of stumbling into a good fit job.

Announcements:    -On Feb 19, 2023, Dr. Lisle & Howk are doing a Live Seminar called the True to Life Series.   Registration link:  www.TrueToLife.us -Episodes 294 & 295 will be released in the coming weeks.  In today's show the dr's discuss:  1. Do people feel disgust for themselves when they are a minority in the village? Like you’ve said, disgust evolved not just out of a sense of right and wrong, but also out of infection and threat. So, my question is, do (racial, sexual, etc) minorities suffer because their internal audience will be in tune with the majority community's sense of disgust and/or threat around them? How important is it to have people who look, think, love, and are like you for your self esteem? 2. What is the psychology behind interrupting people in conversation? I’ve read that we’re “wired to tie up loose ends” meaning that it feels good to tie up a thought that may get forgotten about or change as the conversation carries on. Also, do you think most people really listen to what w

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss: 1. How well does clinical evolutionary psychology explain and treat behavioural problems of children such as aggression or violence (often in cases even towards their own parents who have a reliable history of being loving and warm and not abusive). Any recommendations for literature/ reading sources/ books on psychology for people interested in dealing with aggressive kids? 2. I have been told often that men retreat from their romantic partner emotionally when they are upset, is that a gender difference in coping mechanisms or is it just that men are inherently less invested in relationships than women? 3. 1)what impact has women's education and empowerment had on gender dynamics? 2)if left to our primal instincts i.e. hypothetically if in a place where humans are born and there is no culture to begin with, would men be inseminating attractive women left right and centre forcefully/ by overpowering them (especially adolescent fertile girls) or is there now a g

1. Why do men seem to be so enraptured by “ditzy” girls? They trip over themselves trying to take care of her. Is it an behavioral manifestation of attractive estrogen levels in the woman? 2. how did gratitude and gratefulness come to evolve in human beings. if one analyses it, it is an extremely complex highly advanced thought process about how bad a situation could have been and the fact that its not one must accept, acknowledge and recalibrate one's esteem cues and status so as to not be sad/depressed/ low about a certain event. 3. How does one’s personality influence the quality of the internal audience? I can imagine that someone higher in C would have a lower or maybe harsher internal audience. 4. I am curious about a few inferences I made about the interface between environment and personality. High conscientiousness and agreeableness implies a higher likelihood of accepting and following social norms. In other words, these genetic traits are responsible for preserving the cultural environment. On the