Asterios Kills A Kid

I'm Producer Jesse and I may have made a mistake. I set up search analytics for our website, asterioskillsakid.com, and noticed that we were showing up in some odd search results for things like "veggietales transcript" and hardcore porn. So I sent it along to Asterios and Sriracha for a laugh and well...if these episodes from now the entire podcast is just keywords you know who to blame. But until then let's see what questions we've got this week! First up, here's one from CRINGE, our old friend from episode 3. "I must ask another question because it's a pressing issue, my cousin is visiting my area from France and he looks way better than me. I'm basically a fat manlet version of him. So he's attracting all of the chicks. I thought after his nose broke during a soccer game it would severely take him down a few notches. But it didn't because now he's getting more attention because of it. Any advice on how I can be better than him somehow without injuring myself for sympathy? Thanks." – CRINGE the e